Today I felt like telling you: RECOGNIZE YOUR AWESOME SELF.

Every week for 10 weeks at a time, I teach a class in my church called STN 301: Discover Greatness and I’m really passionate about it because I feel that people need to be told that this world might not recognize what God already sees in them, so don’t wait for the world to do what you were put on this earth to do. It doesn’t have to be something on a large public platform either. Maybe you are destined to be an awesome friend to someone who will have that public platform (she/he needs you), maybe you will be the mother/father to a child that will contribute extraordinary products, services or ideologies to the world. That is great too!

We are almost at the end of January and I know some of you have already had to fight to believe what God says about you already. I’m sorry this world is so harsh. I’m sorry that so many people have bitten into the bitter apple and have sought to poison your spirit. But you still have a choice. No one can take choice away from you. Choose to recognize your awesomeness. Your uniqueness and yes, live in it. Because if you wait for the world to recognize it (if that ever happens) it may be too late. The worst thing that can happen to any one of us is to die with potential inside.

So how are you doing on the front of relationships? Friendships? Houses of Worship? All of those have an impact on how you will ultimately see and accept you. Make wise choices, it will impact the rest of your 2012, there is still time for a path correction. Go in front of a mirror and tell yourself right now…I am what God says I am. I am the apple of His eye. There’s no one else like me and EVEN IF I have haters, they don’t matter because I RECOGNIZE MY greatness and I will use everything in me to give glory to God.

Did you do that? Yay! Now go on and be your awesome self in the world. Someone needs what only you bring to the atmosphere today!

Every day in the AM, I read two devotionals. The one that I’d like to share with you today is called “The One Year Uncommon Life Daily Challenge” by Tony Dungy and Nathan Whitaker.

I was given this book to review by Tyndale House Publishers. I’m not a sports person so I really didn’t know Tony Dungy at any level other than hearing his name in the news at times. However, I am very much into reading devotionals to start my day so when I heard about this book I wanted to read it. The first thing I loved was the quote on the cover “This year, dare to be uncommon every day.” That called to me. I strive to be uncommon, extraordinary simply who God created me to be every day. While there are many references to sports as illustrations (not thrilled) he had a way of taking the reader back to the point (esp important for us folk that could care less about sports) by having what he called the “uncommon key” which is the final thought based on what you just read. Sometimes it moved you to action (i.e. write down …) or it just made you think but I think it was one of the better devotionals I’ve read. This daily devotional focuses on seven themes, with each theme repeating every seven days. Therefore, every week you will read one devotion from each of the following themes: Core, Family, Friends, Potential, Mission, Influence and Faith. This devotional reminds you that it only takes one to change things in the world and I AM ONE. I may just adopt this as a motto. “Live Uncommon!”I also think this is a gem for the men in our lives who want to connect with a man’s man and who understand the life he has lived as a sports person. Especially since some men don’t like to read, this devotional is short, quick and to the point.  Get it as a gift for the men in your life and make sure you pick one up for yourself.

Check out what Dungy says below:

I’m giving away a free Tyndale House Publishers Certificate for a copy of this book for the best comment on how you try to live an uncommon life. Let the games begin and I hope you win!

Disclaimer: At the request of the authors and Tyndale House Publishers, a Paperback edition of this book was sent, at no cost to me, for my honest review and participation in the virtual book tour event

Each new year is a gift from God , and this year 2012 which will be a spectacular year, would not delay the blessings will come upon you.

A year is like a jewel that has 365 beautiful gemstones. All valuable jewel needs to be kept, stored and enjoyed in the proper perspective.

Perhaps I can ask and how to treat time as a gem. The Bible says so: Do not be fools, but wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil. Apostle Paul.

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Show by his good conduct that his works with meekness of wisdom “James 3:13.

Many people are in a desperate race to be wise, intelligent and knowledgeable. Every day studying and signing up to be wiser in a course, but have not learned the basic lessons of life . They want to learn lessons from books, but ignore the lessons of daily life that God teaches us and have a profound value.

The lessons daily in life are simple yet profound. Here are ten simple lessons of life that I think if you learn, you will be end up wise. Every new year, all of us have these ten lessons.

1 .- God first in life, because the beginning of wisdom is the fear of God. Without God we can do nothing. He is not the last resort when things go wrong, but the first so that everything goes well in life.  Jesus said when he said this statement: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all other things will follow”. So many put their careers first (or other things),trust me, you got it backwards.

2 .- God gave you a body. If you like or hate this body, it is still a gift God gave you for the rest of your life, so you better learn to love and live with it. Not fight more with your body (and detest it)  begin to be grateful and good stewards of the body God has given us careful how we eat, we cleaned and dressed. Do not forget that our bodies are temples of the Holy Ghost. Yes, this year (AGAIN) I will make wiser choices for my body.

3 .- You always learn lessons in life. You are enrolled in a university called life. Every day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn new lessons. Like the lessons or not, there are lessons to be learned.

4 .- A lesson is repeated until it is learned. This lesson will be presented over and over again in various forms until you have learned. Only when you learn you can go to the next lesson. There are no shortcuts in this, our courses are free or purchased diplomas in life. School life is relentless in this. You don’t want to repeat a grade right? Learn the lesson and graduate.

5 .- There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process that involves mistakes, but in life and to God those mistakes become lessons. All who have accomplished something in life you can tell us how many times did not. Every detail becomes almost lost a precious stone. The apostle Paul said, saying that those who love God all things work together for good. Dare to do things this year, whether it works or fails, it will be a lesson. Only those that dare greatly, end up doing great things.

6.-Learning lessons is a process that never ends. There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, then there are still lessons to learn. The race of life and the degree of human existence is not the product of a 3, 10 or 12 years. All life is the course. It’s a race with infinite goal.

7 .- Others are mirrors to your life. You can not love or hate anyone unless you understand that your love or hate is a reflection of what your you love or hate. Resentment, hatred and bitterness is the best way of torturing ourselves. It is the post where we end up hanged without realizing that this or that both hate is but a reflection of or have not worked in me. I ended 2011 with forgiving someone who hurt be badly. It felt great. 

8 .- Make your life something that grows. You have all the tools and resources that God has given for the formation of your life. What you do with those tools will determine your growth, but the decision is always yours. God has placed within you gifts, capabilities, operations and ministries. Those are God’s tools for the training of your life. If you haven’t grown, that means you’re stuck. 

9 .- There is no better than here. When your there has become your here, another there just seems to get better than you here. So enjoy and be faithful to you here. Do not look outside the fields that appear more green, when yours or need a little more diligence. Do not get distracted with the plate you put your neighbor if you are in the same table with him. Your dish is perhaps the same or maybe surprised you with a dish best but you have not noticed by looking at the others. Don’t covet gifts or things of others, it’s not attractive, you get sidetracked and worse God hates it!

10 .- The answers are in the Word of God. When doubts assail you and confusion surrounds you find the answers in the Word of God. The Bible remains the manufacturer’s manual. When you’ve tried everything and the matter is not resolved, go to the Word of God, trust me the answer is in there. Let God speak to you, teach you and guide you. It is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path the Psalmist said.

Watch with joy what God has in store in this new year. Keep the faith. Practice these ten lessons and prepare for the best. Your life is in God’s hands and he has given you wisdom and understanding to manage all that he has planted within you. I’m excited for me and I am excited for you. 2012 is going to be an amazing, epic year. Proclaim it!

So here we are. One day away from the beginning of a new year. 2012. I love what a new year represents. It represents a chance to try again. To begin anew. To get a fresh start. For some it will simply mean flipping the calendar page. No expectations. No hope. No lessons learned from 2011 that they will take with them into the new year. I don’t know about you but I always go into deep reflection mode two times a year…on my birthday and at the end of the year. I do this because as Socrates plainly stated “an unexamined life is not worth living”. I find it amazing and to be honest troubling that so many people just “go with the flow” and never stop to 1) pray to God about their life 2) plan the natural parts of their life so God can step in and do whatever “supernatural” things He has to and 3) reflect!  If you don’t plan, it is very likely that you will end up in a place where you never wanted to be. (But that’s another post!).

I’m pretty much an open book, to the surprise (and dismay) of many LOL. But if you know me personally for any length of time you have also gathered that even though I am a “pastor” I don’t let myself be ruled by other people’s opinions of what a “pastor” should be or look like or “share”. Lord have mercy I’ve been delivered and I won’t let anyone put me in that bondage ever again. So with that said, let me share some lessons I learned in 2011 (either from watching other’s or experiencing them myself):

1. No one is going to give you an award for most time doing “kingdom work” if you neglect your family. Seriously, this is as old school as old school can be. Your kids should know you and your wife/husband should not see the “ministry” as the mistress. Book your date nights & family days IN PEN! Period. And one more thing…don’t let ANYONE make you feel guilty about it. Will they be the ones walking with you when your marriage is on the rocks or when your children rebel?

2.  If you want to be a leader, put in the time to be the best one you can be. Stop the dog gone excuses. We are never finished working ourselves and you can always be better. Trust me, you (nor I) are perfect thus reflecting on our leadership style and most of all working on how we encourage others to rise up to their potential is of the utmost importance. Do you embrace others and look for ways to use their gifting or do you limit them and put a lid on them? Are you a ministry hog? Yes you can probably do it better but how will other leaders ever learn to be who God called them to be. Or have you even given thought that actually they are better than you in an area and they should be the one given the opportunity, even if you give UP your role. Barnabas was such a man, he was a lifter of people not a limiter and he knew Paul was a better teacher and he opened up doors for Paul by his recommendation to speak and eventually Paul was “sought out” more than Barnabas. Wow, wouldn’t that be nice to see in the Kingdom.

3.  Say what you mean. Mean what you say. There really is no room for masks in the kingdom. There is also no time to be wasted with poor communicators. Whether its at work or in church, it’s exhausting trying to figure people out. So just say what you mean (with respect please). And if you say you are going to do something. Do it. Don’t say yes when you really want to say no.

4. Friends don’t always live at your level of reality. As much as we love some of the people around us, not everyone can be real about their own life situations and dramas and not everyone is willing to face the demons of their past or throw away the record of wrongs so that their lives can move on. We can’t make the choices for them nor can we live their life. So love them anyway even when you know they live a life of denial and are part of a big play.

5. Find your overall purpose in life and say yes to the things that fit under that. I’m one of those people who love doing more than one thing but my overall purpose is equipping and educating. I try to say yes to only the things that fit under that umbrella. That’s why when invited to do other things I politely say no thank you. In this season of my life, with two growing boys (one with special needs) I can’t say yes to everything but I can say yes that are local and make me come alive. Equipping and educating people does that for me.

6. Things change whether we like it or not. People leave your life (at your doing or their’s) and people come into it (some we like and some not so much) but like the famous quote I read once said, one thing we can count on in this world is change. Stop fighting it. It’s going to happen. Usually when we don’t want it to. But if you really think about it, change is what pushed us to do more, be better, embrace the different, etc. In 2012, make peace with change because as Tony Robbins said ” By changing nothing, nothing changes.”

7. A year from now you will wish you had started today.Usually during this time of year, we wish we had done something. Perhaps the thing on one of your “lists” - the bucket, dream, resolution list. Doesn’t matter what list, what matters is that you get started doing it because this time next year, you will wish you had.

8. It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.This year may not have turned out the way you (or I) wanted but on this we can count on, God has more for us if we dare take the step forward. Don’t stay stuck in the “whaf if’s” of 2011. Go instead and attempt great things for God in 2012. That’s exactly what I intend to do.

9. Be a friend throughout the year not just during the holidays.

10. Be you all day, everyday. It takes too much to be someone else. And if God wired you the way He did, as the manufacturer He had a purpose for you. So why should we go and change that which He said was ready to be born into this world? When you try to be someone else, it shows. Worse yet, when you try to be someone else with each person you meet, eventually that is discovered too. So be YOU. Do YOU.

I have so many more lessons but truthfully this is a public venue and some of ya’ll can’t handle my truth. Happy 2012 folks and Happy New You! Make the best of the life God has given you, surround yourself with people who love you and challenge you to be better and make sure God is in the middle of it all. There is no doubt that 2012 will be an amazing year!

Oh, if we could only remember who God IS! - A. W. Tozer

There is exactly 11 days left to 2011. How was it for you? I’m sure you had the moments of great jubilation and I’m also sure you had those “let me curl up into the fetal position because I’m in pain” moments as well. That is the way life is. Unexpected good as well as bad. It is in moments like these…upcoming birthday or year-end review that I evaluate the course of my life up to that point and try to remember the God moments.

The God moments are the times that God invaded my situation when I thought I was going down for the count or when he blasted a door wide open for me to walk through. I’m sure you can recount those moments as well right?  I love this Tozer quote above because it is a reminder that we need reminders of who God said he is so that we can see how He was very much a present help in time of trouble or the way maker (where there seemed to be no way).

So do YOU REMEMBER who God is? I do. He’s God-the Alpha & Omega, the beginning & the end, the giver & taker of life. He’s God-the creater of all (that means excluding NOTHING), the sustainer of all, the lover f all. God-the author & finisher of MY faith. God-the first, the last, the eternal God-caller, listener, speaker. God-my healer, rebuilder, restorer. God the one who loved Adam, loved David, even loved Judas and even ME. God-the almighty, all-powerful, all-knowing God. God and nothing else. Or as Pastor William Graham Tullian Tchvidian says “God + NOTHING = EVERYTHING”. Yeah, I remember who God is. I hope you take the moment right now to remember who He is to you?

In my morning devotional today reading from my new Transformation Study Bible I was lead to the story of Abraham in Genesis, specifically Gen 18:2 and Gen 22. In this story we read about this man who trusted God so much he left everything he knew, the place of comfort where he had security, success, servants and wealth to go out into the wildnerness not knowing where he would be going “because God said so”. He was three days from “some place” but I’m saying he was three days from no where in particular.

In Gen 18:2 Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw three men at his tent door. One of them was God, and he fed Him a meal. At that point, God starting giving promises. He said (Gen 22:17) “As the sand…upon the sea shore,” so shall your seed be.  That made me think that in our lives there are promises God has made to us, that is the first level.

But then the scripture says again in Gen 22:4, “Abraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off.” Now it’s gone beyond the first level of receiving the promise. This is the level when you begin to step into the destiny that God has for you. 

Then there’s the next level that you get to, though, and that’s in Gen 22:13 “Abraham lifted up his eyes…and behold behind him a ram…” You only get that level of blessing when you go through a “three days from nowhere” experience. When you go through such a severe trial of a lifetime, it feels like everything is gone, you were lost, you have missed God, you somehow have messed up and feel there is no way you can make it back.

The truth is, God has to bring all of us whom He has a destiny for to a place called “three days from nowhere.” It’s the place where you’re saying, “I know where I am going but I sure don’t understand where I am right now. I don’t have a clue what is going on. This is not what You showed me, Lord!” Scripture says that God proved and showed Himself to be Jehovah-Jireh at that place (Gen 22:14). Abraham did not call Him Jehovah-Jireh when he got to the mountain and saw the provision. He called Him Jehovah-Jireh down at the foot of the mountain when his boy asked him, “Father, where’s the lamb? And Abraham answered “God will provide himself a lamb” (Gen 22:7-8).

Anybody can call Him Jehovah-Jireh when you get on top of the problem, but when you’re three days from nowhere and you don’t know where to turn, you don’t know what to do, you don’t know why you’ve had this x-ray come back the way it did, and your husband left you for another woman, or that boss who never did right by you still gets promoted and you don’t even get a cost of living raise…that’s when you’re “three days from nowhere.”

You don’t know why you paid your tithes and now you’re laid off, it makes no sense. Sister, you are three days from nowhere. You didn’t think you would be here at this stage, and this point in your life you never dreamed that you would be a widow, or starting a new life with a new man, or here by yourself. But I’ve got to tell you in this  Mentoring Moment that you don’t wait until you get on the mountain to call Him Jehovah-Jireh. Abraham called Him Jehovah-Jireh when he was still three days from nowhere!

If you are three days from nowhere, God’s letting you know that He’s with you. You may not know where you’re going, but you know who’s going with you. And if He’s with you, no matter what you are going through you know you will get through it!

I am confident of this because I myself have been three days from nowhere more times than I can count. I know you’re confused, you’re stunned, maybe even feel a little hurt by God. Let me share something I learned back when I had the two hardest trials of my life. The biggest room in your brain had better be reserved for things you don’t understand. If you have to understand everything before you will trust and serve God with everything you got, then sis, you don’t understand the concept of faith. God doesn’t always give us explanations.

You are probably three days from nowhere but hold on sis, God will come through for you as he did for Abraham. Just keep proclaiming Him as Jehovah-Jireh and soon you too will see the ram amidst the bushes.

With love and appreciation for all you do for the Kingdom.

One of the greatest things people of God get to do is “ministry” or service unto God. But this very same thing  has a way of giving us spiritual A.D.D. and we can’t seem to sit still and just be silent before the Lord and LISTEN. Most of the time it is because silence is uncomfortable but as people of God we need it just as much as we need other disciplines in our Christian journey. For 2012, I’ve made it a point to schedule 1-2 day retreats 4 times next year. Richard Foster, the author of Celebration of Disciple mentioned in the summer 2011 issue of Leadership Journal that “if superficiality is the curse of the modern age, the curse of the postmodern age is distraction.”

With all the gadgets that are so cool to have and keep us connected to our peeps, they are also keeping us “logged in” way past the time we should have already been giving to God, family or friends. Churches are buying into this distraction as well by making sure that there are no times when there is too much silence in a service. But I think we need to rethink this just a little bit.

I think we need to make time for silence in our services or maybe even have a gathering that is just for that! I remember hanging out with some of the founders of the Emergent movement when it was in its hey day and that is one thing I learned from them that I loved. Prayer time with stations signifying different things, silence at the altar ministry time, reflection opportunities before altar time, etc. Why is it that most Pentecostals can’t seem to integrate that into their service times? I think most pastors think people will get bored. I am not saying have it for an entire service (that would be weird) but it would be nice for us to acknowledge that we need to be STILL sometimes. I think when a church acknowledges that it reminds its people that spiritual A.D.D. ain’t a good thang!

However, whether a church makes room for silence is or not does not mean you can’t. I find the best time for me to be silent and just listen is between 7:45 AM-9 AM. My son gets picked up for school at 7:30 AM then I go into my kitchen, get my cafe con leche and read His word and look outside my window, contemplating God’s beauty and waiting to see if His spirit will nudge me about something. It’s amazing how centered I feel after this time with God in SILENCE without my Iphone, Ipad, Ipod, etc. Spiritual A.D.D. doesn’t impress God, us being all over the place with no time for him actually saddens him. Yes, even if everything you are doing is FOR HIM.  Our service FOR Him shouldn’t keep us FROM Him. One of the ways we show thanksgiving to God is simply to remember Him. Here is a good article on How To Do Quiet Time. 

What do you think about this? Do you have spiritual A.D.D.? Are you spending some quiet time with him? How can you commit to spending that time in the next 62 days before 2012?

For most of my grown life I’ve been known (or gossiped about) for being a sort of rebel. Not because I have caused any problems but mostly because I have always used my mind to make my own decisions regardless of if I had to stand alone or my friends wanted the church to think they were perfect or whatever. I also was never really afraid to take a stand on something that I truly believed in. That was back then when I was still  bound by people’s opinions and my desire to please them. Imagine now that I don’t have such hang-ups!

So today I awoke with this thought in my mind, “tell them to stop sitting on the fence.” I have been praying about the students I have to mentor in my role as Academic Advisor/Mentor at Bakke Graduate University and what to say to them to motivate them to keep pursuing God’s plan for them. But God said, some haven’t even said yes to me and that is the first requirement. A fully surrendered life to God. Then the Holy Spirit reminded me of this verse: “Elijah went before the people and said, ‘How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.’ But the people said nothing.” — 1 Kings 18: 21

So I ask you too…have you made a decision for God. I mean a real decision. I know you know about Him, you may have experienced his goodness in your life but have you said yes God I stand for you, I live for you? In  researching the verse above a bit, I had to know where it took place. Now I have never been to Mount Carmel but I am told and I have read that it is truly one of the most beautiful sites in Israel. Atop its peak you can see the Samaritan hills to the southwest, the broad expanse of the Jezreel Valley to the northeast, and to the west, the glistening waters of the Mediterranean. Because of abundant rainfall, the slopes and peak are green year-round. It’s no wonder that in Hebrew the name “Carmel” means “vineyard of God.”

But for Jews and Christians, Mount Carmel has an even greater significance beyond its breathtaking beauty. It was on this mountaintop that Elijah confronted the 850 pagan prophets of King Ahab and challenged the Israelites to stop sitting on the fence. Elijah went before the people and asked them, “How long are you going to waver between two opinions? Either God is God, and follow him, or Baal is God.” And the people said nothing.

They were content to stay where they were atop the fence. Silent. Not taking a stand. Refusing to make a choice.  Now some may argue that sitting on the fence is not necessarily a bad thing — that it’s good to look at both sides of an argument, and that choosing sides can lead to division, confrontation, and general messiness. But sitting on the fence has never been an option for the people of God. I’m sorry to bust that bubble or shatter that frame of mind.

Our God demands that we make a choice. Yeap, you have to decide to decide. Are you with him or not? In Moses’ closing words to the Israelites before they entered the Promised Land, he challenged the people: “See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction.” (Deuteronomy 30: 15) Choose! And Joshua in his farewell address to the leaders of Israel issued a similar exhortation, “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . . But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15)

Every day we have opportunities to make a choice to represent God where we live, where we work, and where we go to school. It could be standing up for someone who is being mistreated or refusing to participate in a business practice you consider unethical. It may mean taking an unpopular stand or speaking out against injustice in your community.But for the people of God, silence — remaining atop the fence — is not a choice. As the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

Where might you take a stand today? What do you need to speak out against? Remember, sometimes taking a stand, exercising your voice does not have to be with your mouth but with your action. So what will you decide today? Is He God in your life or isn’t He? Whatever you do,  don’t sit on the fence any longer. As the graphic above states, the only thing that will cause is splinters!

Yeah I’m on my soapbox again. Been thinking alot lately about words.  About a year ago I read a book by Robert Morris, the pastor who wrote the Blessed Life, a book my church was studying last month. The book I read was The Power of Your Words: How God Can Bless Your Life Through the Words You Speak. I remember reading this quote “remember, every time you open your mouth, your mind walks out and parades up and down those words.” With this in mind, maybe that is why some people are viewed as evil, superficial, insecure or un-Christlike!  Here is a simple truth folks, your mouth is a loaded gun but many of us have never been trained on how to use it!

Matthew 12:34  says “…It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words.” (The Message)

You can tell a lot about a person by the words they speak.   Wrong hearts bring discouragement, deceit and death.  A right heart speaks words of life, liberty and love. I mentioned in my post yesterday that words matter. YES… words matter. While many of us speak ineffectively and shallowly, there are no throw-away words. Every word communicates something, be it our biases, our ideas, or our ignorance. Words talk. Someone’s listening.

A friend shared in her blog today about being balcony people, who are encouragers. Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard for people to step outside themselves and their ’stuff’ to send good words, uplifting words into the atmosphere. It doesn’t cost anything. Thankfully words are free, however, how we use them can cost us something. It can cost us friends, it can cost us the loss of respect, it can cost us our credibility and it definitely costs us a good reputation. Funny thing about these words is that once tossed, they can’t be taken back. I believe that is why many marriages and friendships are in a cold state because there has been either no words, which at times can be just as bad as wrong words!

Words matter and they cut like a knife! So please tame your tongue! People the Word of God tells us in James 1:26 “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless” YIKES!  Hello, that means that this Christ you proclaim, this life-transforming message you speak of is deemed useless because if it hasn’t changed the way you talk and how you treat others with your tongue, what hope can a person have this Christ turning their life around?

If the people you hang with (yes I went there!) or you yourself can’t ever seem to be positive for yourself or others, it could be an indication that you are lacking some serious face time with God. There is no way you can spend time with God and not have a more compassionate, caring, uplifting heart. And since everything flows from the heart, your words will be kinder, gentler words. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean that you can’t speak truth to someone but the word tells us to speak the truth in LOVE (Eph 4:15). Love will compel us to watch how we say what we need to say.

So today, think before you speak! Your words have the power to connect! Connect people with and to you but more importantly, connect people to the God YOU serve! Today your words can change a frown to a smile, tears into laughter and discouragement to encouragement. I can’t think of a better way to use words…now that matters!

A friend of mine is having a party soon and she asked me if I was going. I asked her, who did you invite? Yeap, I’m that careful about who I spend my time with. As a pastor, I have to go to events and I’m around people who I will never allow into my personal life. Why? Simply because what they do, how they talk, how they “live” is contrary to what I want around me. Some people have a mask that is very obvious, others are more careful yet their actions betray them. I look at all of that. But I write this post because I want to make you think about this as well. God actually wants us to choose wisely. I know, I know so people are so lonely that they will hang out with anyone. That stems from another issue I don’t have time to address here. But for those who literally try to be a follower vs. fan of Jesus, it is crucial that you watch who you hang out with.

As I write this, the song by Whodini “Friends” plays in my head. It’s an old school song, here it is :

This friend in the song isn’t so much of a friend right? Well, there are many of those around us as well. Let me introduce you to a verse that guides my life whether people like it or not…“The righteous should CHOOSE HIS FRIENDS CAREFULLY, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (Proverbs 12:26). I think believers think they have to be “friends” with everyone because that is the “christian” thing to do. Actually the “christian” thing to do is not be friends with everyone because the word tells us to CHOOSE carefully, even those who go to “church” can be bad influences in our life.

Sometimes God nudges us about a particular person but again because we have a mixed up theology, we stay in a unhealthy friendship. But you see, the main reason that God will start to nudge you and try to take out the friends in your life that He does not want you to have is because some of these people may be negative influences in your life. They may not be open to growing and maturing in the Lord like you will be, and all they will do is try and hold you back when you start your own spiritual journey and growth in the Lord. They will start criticizing and making fun of you and all they will end up doing is stunting your growth in the Lord. They have nothing good to say about the people you believe in, your leadership, your church, your dreams, etc. They are moody…today they love you, tomorrow it’s like “who are you again?” Why do you put up with all this drama folks? God is coming back soon, we really have no time for this!

For those of you who are married and have children – it is the same thing when you do not want your children hanging out with other children who you know would be a bad and negative influence on your child. You know that if your children start hanging out with the wrong type of crowd, they can become very easily corrupted in a very short period of time. As a result, you will become very protective with your children, and you will watch them very closely when they are old enough to start choosing who their friends are going to be.

It is the exact same way with God the Father! If you will allow God to prune out the people that He does not want you to have in your life – then what He will start to do is to bring in the people that He will want to have in your life. I call these types of friends “God-friends.” These people will be other good, godly, Spirit-filled Christians who are truly walking in good stead with the Lord and they will now be the people that He will want you to share your walk with!

How many of these types of God-friends can you expect God to bring into your life? Only God will be able to answer that for each and every one of you. Some may only get one or two to start off with, others may get 5 or 10. Let God make the decision as to how many and when they will be brought into your life. What I have learned is that it is not the quantity or amount that comes in – it is the quality. You are much better off having just one or two good, solid, quality friends as versus 10 or 15 that are not as good quality friends as the one or two may be.

Every Christian is operating at different levels of spiritual development with the Lord. God knows best as to who would be best suited for you at the level of spiritual development that you are currently operating at with Him. When God does bring in these types of special God-friends to share your journey with – they will be real treasures! These God-friendships will be anointed by God Himself due to the quality feedings and interaction that will occur in them.

A quote I once read in Essence Magazine by the then Editor, Susan Taylor stated “not everyone is healthy enough for a front row seat in my life!” I think that states it very clearly. So please choose wisely!