You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Dale Carnegie

I am getting ready to leave tomorrow AM to the Emerging Women’s Leadership Initiative event in Atlanta. I am honored to have been invited, since none of us ever really think we are doing anything special. We just do what we can’t help but do, so someone noticed…that is nice really. And while I’ve read on blogs and heard others say nice things about me and trust me, again, I am honored..I want to say that it’s not about me. It’s about all the others that I will meet there. As I read the list of people attending, I can’t wait to laugh, share, dream and yes, even cry together. Everyone is so unique and gifted. Everyone has their own story to share about the sum total of their experiences in both the sacred and secular worlds that have made them the wonderful women that they are.

It was the new blogger introduced by Jen Lemen, Sarah’s site that I was reminded again how women’s friendships are so important to our lives. I have had the great blessing of meeting Edna a fellow sojourner just in the nick of time for me [before I went crazy]. I have other women as friends and I long for other women in my life that are sincere in their love of God, family and of peculiar people [I am peculiar]. My hope is that in Atlanta, I will connect deeply with some and learn from all and vice versa. I believe for most of us to even want to get to “this” place, we have embarked on the journey inward. I know I did. Dag Hammerskjvld was the one who said “The longest journey of any person is the journey inward.” We can’t be who we are not. Faking it can only be done for a little while. I have a feeling those who journey for deeper things are done with the faking…I do not expect to meet any posers in Atlanta. I do expect that every woman I meet in Atlanta, has purposed to live their life so that people will be better off for having known them. I am going because I am more interested in them, then in me hoping they are interested in me.

I will report on what happened from my perspective but I know this is a ‘God thing’ so I expect “great things.”

We had our BBQ “event” today in our backyard since most have to go back to work on Tuesday and we wanted to hang with no time line. It has been fun having the family over. One interesting thing that happened is when all the adults went out to visit an artist friend, I got to talking with my nephews and niece. In the picture, Matthew (18), my son Sam (7), Stacey (23) and Timothy (24)–they started to talk to me about the “church” and their issues with it…it is funny how when they are around me and no one is around, they actually talk to me about their stuff. The major theme that came out of our discussion is that they are not ‘feelin’ the church as they know it but it doesn’t mean they don’t want God. They have learned what church should not be and now it is time to unlearn church and learn relationship with God and others. After my talk with them I felt like this is who God is calling me to reach, young people like them, who had it with McChurch and want prophetic witness to Christ’s presence in our communities of faith that are unique and transformational. It is not about copying someone else’s methodology of “doing” church. Yes, we can learn from one another but we have to realize our call is unique and so is our gift and it is specific because it is for local implementation where God has planted you. Anyway, I am in the middle of doing a paper for class but wanted to take a moment to say dare to “find your own flavor” there is a generation out there waiting for it.

A good friend, Felicia Scott is in need of prayer as she had her appendix burst 4 days prior to finding out and it is a miracle she is alive today. A woman of God to this generation, she is author of Thrive 7 Strategies for Extraordinary Living. She is in the hospital now in NYC and in need of healing. Check out a recent article of her’s in the NYC Christian Citywide paper, the Love Express on Cellophane Christianity.

I have my husband’s family over from NYC over for the Memorial holiday. We always eat alot when family is over. I also have two assignments to do for my two classes…I am in the home stretch. I am in my final core course and begin my dissertation work in the Fall. Aye..so much to do, so little time. Beautiful day in South Florida. My friend Edna got her apartment I am so excited. We have such good talks her and I and I’ve never had such a supportive and genuine friend. I thank God for her. I look forward to the new people God will put in my life in this South Florida adventure. On another note, I am worried about “things”…my organization [LPAC], the church plant [where will we meet to starters], pending lawsuit [when will it be over finally] BUT with all these goings on in my brain, I feel good today. There is a quote that states “Most of us can, if we choose, make this world either a palace or a prison.” I choose to make it a semi-palace LOL. My nephews are outside in the pool splashing around and I really do need to go and get ready to face the world [the nail salon lol].

Fantasiahttp://idolonfox.com/contestants/fantasia_barrino/index.htm won today…I didn’t think she was the best [as I was a Latoya fan] but out of the two her performance was dynamic. Listen, she had me crying yesterday AND today. Wow. [Words to song]…Love keeps lifting me higher. Have you ever reached the end of your rainbow. Found your pot of gold. I believe! Listen, how many of us lived this moment with this 19 year old today. Young, teenage mom. Raised in the church. Made some mistakes. Today her life changes…forever. She overcame obstacles. She worked hard. She believed…she won. Maybe we don’t stand on stages, perhaps no one knows our names, but as we go forth to do whatever it is that God has purposed in our hearts, we too will sing this song. Perhaps not as good. But the “I believe” moments will come. Mine came when my son stop going in and out of the hospital [I practically lived there for 2 years] and it came again when he allowed me to forgive some serious betrayals by the people closest to me [trust me I wanted to get ghetto and hurt some folks, hey I felt that but I didn’t ok!], and then again when I brought my house [6 months sooner than I the year I thought I would need when I never really thought it could happen to begin with]…and I expect some more around the corner…but they are better appreciated when we go through the obstacles. I know, I know I hate to go through stuff too…dag, I wish there was a better way…but God’s ways are surely not ours [thank God]. In a TV interview on ABC, she told the public, “thank you for accepting me for being me!” Isn’t that what we all want? So congratulations to Ms. Barrino. And to those of you who read this…congratulations to you too…I am sure you have a story to tell and as you continue to remain faithful to God, HIS love well lift YOU higher and the angels of heaven will be cheering you on with every obstacle you overcome until His coming. Yeah….I believe!!!! Do you? Your moment is coming.

“If we deny our weakness-if we want to be powerful and strong always, we deny a part of our being, we live an illusion. To be human is to accept who we are, this mixture of strength and weakness. To be human is to accept and love others just as they are. To be human is to be bonded together, each with our weaknesses and strengths, because we need each other. Weakness, recognized, accepted, and offered, is at the heart of belonging, so it is at the heart of communion with another.” –Jean Vanier, Becoming Human

I don’t know what it is about me…I go to bed at night comtemplating life and I wake up contemplating life. Jeesh. As my husband would say, I need to “take it down a notch”. But I can’t help it. That is me. Lately, in my conversations with people everything we’ve discussed leads back to our humanity and how the church needs to make room for all that makes us human…the good, the bad, the ugly. It’s funny because I have some close friends who always ask me to “talk about my fears” because from their perspective I look so strong and they can’t imagine me having fears. Of course, I have them I tell them, I just don’t go around asking people if they have a few minutes for me to discuss my fears with them…actually they would have to give up more like a few hours! But I think in going through the major dramas of my life, the acceptance of my humanity came out loud and clear. I mean, I think the universal church [and please I know not all churches are like this but most are unfortunately] does not know how to deal with their congregation’s humanity. We can’t always be preaching about the things that make people happy by gearing everything around seekers [so not to offend] and we can’t always be preaching “you’re doomed, doomed, I tell you!” So where is the happy medium? I don’t know but I think we need to be addressing more real life issues even if it is uncomfortable. I talking speaking about poverty, faith and the lack thereof, what it really means to walk as a disciple, adultery, fornication, pornography, addiction and all that…and how it all again comes back to the person we are when no one is looking. We, the corporate church, are so good at putting on masks and saying [or at least implying] we got it all together that we create a bigger gap between us and those who seek Jesus through our ministry. I hate all the politics involved in christendom. Why does it have to be this way? I know, I am going on here, but these are me thoughts this morning as I drink my cafecito [coffee] with my low-carb bagel…I feel like crying. Lord, help us to accept our own humanity as we become part of the lives of others who seek you. Let us get off the high horse and pick up the towel. Help us to accept ourselves AND OTHERS as they are [John Ortberg would say with their “AS IS” tag]. Let me go now and finish my cold coffee. But I’ll be back.

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”

As I dare to go forward with this new church plant, I have received various words from others beyond my closest knit friends…why is it that we need for other people to see it in us before we see it in ourselves? I’d like to share some of these words…

Pastor Liz
We had made plans a long, long time ago to come and visit you and Hiram and the boys at your church. We always knew, ,,,,,so, like Noah, we built the ark and waited for rain. God bless you as you walk out just a little bit of your destiny. We always saw the seeds within you. You were pregnant with the beginning of that dream for a long time. God bless you and your family richly. Martin Bowman — Friend

“You are not what you think you are. There is a glory to your life that your Enemy fears, and he is hell-bent on destroying that glory before you act on it.” [Waking the Dead p.33] — Pastor Enid Rios Rivera [sister-in-law]

Angie says:
I’VE BEEN WAITING…….God has certainly called you to plant a church, I have been waiting for you to hear from God on the timing. You knew it was coming, but I am blessed to know that you purposed in your heart not to get in front of God. God’s timing is always perfect. We love you dearly, and trust God’s best for you and your family. Love, Angie I have cc’d Martin. He’s one of your big fans.

Liz,

Your blog was very inspirational and warming to read. I feel like I know you so much better, even Hiram. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your precious family with us! Both you and Hiram have been a
blessing to myself and Betsy. We need more of this real life candor. Everyone has a real life story chock full of problems and issues. But not everyone is transparent enough to let the world know that they are
imperfect humans whose righteousness comes not of themselves but from God, a perfect God who does all things well! May the Lord bless you and continually guide you on your journey. Bendiciones, Frankie Gonzalez Graphic Designer & Friend

I put this in this blog to showcase the fact that when you share your dream, God finds a way to confirm that you are not crazy. LOL. One of the key factors to dealing with risk-taking, growing spiritually, being all God wants you to be is in working on US. Individually. I have to know who I AM by God’s definition of me than by what anyone or any book or author says I am. These are tools and they are helpful but in any endeavor we seek to do for God, the buck starts and ends with us and our attitude about working out our “stuff” so that we can have emotionally healthly churches. [I definitely want to be “healthier” as a leader, as there are enough out there who aren’t and are doing serious damage to the gospel–healthier because I don’t think we will ever arrive at healthy on this side of the kingdom]. Everything…books we read, seminars we attend, groups we go to, spiritual direction we receive–all point us back to US. Affirmations from others are great and truly appreciated but we need to be ok seeing things in ourselves even when we don’t get them. Selah.

I just got this email from a well meaning church member on behalf of another church member who is asking for prayer for a child diagnosed with cancer, his name is Darryl. He is at Columbia Presbyterian and his mom’s name is Monica Roper. I just have to get one thing off my chest, people in the church GOTTA stop setting people up by stating “God is going to heal”, “God is working and all will be well”. Lord have mercy. I DO believe that God CAN help WHEN HE FEELS LIKE IT. He decides. Period. With that off my chest, please pray for the mother that she will have the strength to handle WHATEVER comes…because if God decides NOT to heal she is going to be pretty confused about God and his power. Pray for wisdom for this church family that is leading this women to believe the power is in how many people pray. No the power is only, has only ever been with God. Pray for the child yes for God to DECIDE to heal but if not, that the child will go peacefully without much pain [as docs have said death is eminent].

Also pray that Mom Monica will be able to find God in the midst of her darkness and still be able to see the beauty of life regardless of what happens to her son. “Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.” Selah

“My fear is greater than my faith, but I walk…” — Tori Amos, Songwriter/singer

This is my last full week of being a home office worker. That sucketh. After 9 years of working for a faith-based nonprofit, I am going back to work in an office 9 to 5. Oh Lord. Even when I worked at Nyack College/Alliance Theological Seminary as an Advancement ED and Adjunct Faculty, I only worked three days a week with two days at home. So this is going to take some getting used to!

It feels like I am always in “THIS” place…a place of upheaval since my plans never seem to work out but somehow I survive all the chaos. Trust me I have seen and be part of some DRAMA in my life! To add more drama, I am applying to Extreme Makeovers Home Edition…hey, ya never know!

This week is the week I have to get all the personal things done before heading out to Atlanta for the Emerging Women’s Leadership Initiative. I look forward to that..then back home to celebrate Sam’s 7th birthday and to start summer camp!

Man, I feel melancholy today. I don’t know where God is taking me, what my journey will look like now and as you know I got faith issues but I walk….it seems as if I have been walking for a while now…

One thing that definitely happened to me at EC Nashville was the clarity I received regarding the fact that I must DARE to do what I believe God has called me to do. In my case, I must DARE to PLANT a church in South Florida against the backdrop that my comfort zones have been blasted away i.e. full time job in faith-based nonprofit is gone, my salary has drastically dropped to a little more than half of what I used to make, I am new to Florida as opposed to NYC where I was known and could have drawn from a number of support systems and available resources, I am a LATINA WOMAN. I am scared! Shall I go on?!

However, every good book I’ve read on leadership says that “true leaders are adaptive!” Common-Sense Leadership by Roger Fulton puts it this way:

Change is welcomed by a true leader even in midstream. Human
beings can adjust to almost anything, if they want to. Leaders build a degree of flexibility into
their plans to allow for unexpected changes. Leaders are willing to make changes when they are
warranted.

“The unexpected always happens”–Lawrence J. Peters

Ain’t that the truth. I have gone through the emotional roller coaster feeling sad, angry, sick with anxiety because of the changes that have happened within a month’s time frame –they were all part of MY plan to be able to have the “time to plant a church”. In addition, I’ve been afraid of this desire I feel from God to plant a church with all MY issues. I mean, God must have been mistaken. Maybe I did hear wrong after all.
Then what happens, in my mailbox I get the In Touch magazine [Charles Stanley] publication and its all about “When we say YES to God.” How appropriate. He goes on to say in his opening remarks, “Oftentimes obedience involves choices that we fear could result in rejection, loss or hardship. Sometimes our decision to follow God brings about unwanted confrontation–obedience takes courage. Obedience and faith are inseparable. I must confess, my faith is borderline. Ok, so who wants a pastor with borderline faith? This is the issue…I was raised in the pentecostal tradition to BELIEVE that if you pray for healing it happens. Well, THAT house of cards came down a long time ago, my little DJ had 27 surgeries and no healing at all. Since men handle things differently, my husband wigged out–went into a dark tunnel and almost got hit by the oncoming train. I decided to read…surely I wasn’t the only one who was pissed at God. Anyway, fast forward 4 years later and with our stuff, God wants us to plant a church? Aye Dios Mio.

So pray for us. Right now, my husband Hiram is taking my friend Edna around to find an apartment as she will be part of this church planting effort. Her passion is pastoral care and spiritual direction. She got her M.Div. from New York Theological Seminary way back when AG women were still wondering if they could even teach a class…dag, I just made her sound real old. Anyway, she is my first core team member. I met some great people at EC Nashville who live in South Florida…I am wondering if God is strategizing. But pray for me guys, I feel lonely [which is why I am so grateful for the emerging women’s leadership initiative] and I feel so not ready YET excited about the future and being able to just be real about the journey with all the dark spots in my shorts and jibara shirt from Calle Ocho!

Lilly did say this would be addictive…sure is. If there are any other church planters out there reading this…we walk this crazy walk together. Give me a holler! Gotta get out of here and clean up my office and figure out where I will put all the books I just got at the EC. You know, EC could be a prime time drama series.