What do you do when you feel like a step-child of God’s? Walking in some type of bubble wondering what you did to piss God off and why there always seems to be another challenge awaiting you. I feel like that sometimes. Yesterday I did. I went to bed crying. I really want to trust HIM more especially since I am feeling this incredible pull to help “other” people out in “their” journey with God. I feel alone, thinking thoughts to myself, wondering when and if, visions will materialize. I for one have seem so many just die. I remember reading a book by Andy Stanley where he said something like any visions that die where not from God [don’t quote me but something like that]. So then I start to think…is it me God or is it really you? I go through daily life waking up thankful for the air I breathe, my children are not in the hospital, my husband loves me, I have good friends but yet with this feeling of incompleteness that I have not finished what I am to do. I wonder if it is this church plant thing…I wonder if its to do something for multi-handicapped children like my younger son…I wonder if it is to build the Center for Emerging Female Leadership…I always wonder. I hardly ever get an answer…just other questions. Perhaps that is the problem. Perhaps I should just let the writer of this great story [God] lead me to my next chapter without me trying to read the end of the book. I do scan books alot you know. Too impatient and busy to read it cover to cover. Perhaps that is exactly what God wants me to do. Take it one page at a time because the great story of Liz Rios is yet to be finished and it will be a great one as all HIS stories are. It may not be a best-seller ala MY LIFE by Bill Clinton but ‘my life’ will attract someone one day. I wonder what the story will say. You see…I always wonder.