Pain? No, thanks. I don’t want any. Had enough for my own taste thanks. Yeah, I have heard of the “no pain, no gain” school of thought but that doesn’t mean I have to like it or want it. And I don’t. Still, I’ll have to admit that there is some character building all mixed up in this suffering thing. What the fertilizer hits the fan and you are scratching your head wondering, what the hell did I do to you to end up here, God? I feel that way now. Yesterday’s message in church was good. My interim pastor at Christ the Rock church is really cool, he is the President of Sheridan House Ministries. he taught about “When God Asks You To Do Something New” from Luke 9:1-9. Basically he reminded me that he didn’t call us to “sit” but to “serve”. I cried. Why? Because after I lost my “full-time ministry job” I felt like well [with attitude] then that must mean I got you all wrong and you don’t want me to pastor or be in this faith-based world thingamajig. I have been struggling not only with my budget [i.e. $30k pay cut] but with my destiny, what the heck does God want me to do. I am getting older. I get tired faster and then he keeps adding things that challenge my faith. Man I am tired of this. I have to accept the fact [with kicking and screaming] that this is the way it is. Respite-enjoy it will you have it because the kick in the stomach cometh! In the end, it all builds character. Again, dag…I hate that but I love what becomes of me.
I typed this out and have it by my computer:
Trust him…when doubts seem much stronger
Trust him…when strength may be small
Trust him…when simply to trust Him
May be the hardest thing of all!
This is so true. Thanks for sharing these thoughts. And thanks for being willing to keep doing the new thing. It is great to hear your thoughts, because for you it wasn’t like not moving forward was one of your options. Sounds like you already have a ton of character that we all could learn from.