I woke up this morning with a thought…faith. In the last few months, I’ve been struggling with faith. One of the areas that gets me down the most is finances. I’ve been through alot of pains in my life and perhaps you’ve been there too…you know the usual, backstabbers, gossipers, life not turning out the way you dreamed it would, etc. but the lack of finances is probably the only thing that takes me to the depths of despair. After years of serving God and maturing spiritually, I know that God can answer my prayers and that sometimes those answers will be no. Gary Thomas once asked a question in his book "Authentic Faith" that was brought to remembrance to me today and it was "Does our theology leave room for serving a God who would lead us toward what might turn out to be a poor financial situation but a profitable spiritual one?" Good question right?
Us Americans think that every prayer we ask God to answer will always be a yes in exactly what we asked for and that is not always the case. Since He knows better, many times it will be a no or a "what on earth are YOU thinking!" But seriously, having faith for other people’s situations is easier than having faith for your own and to go to another level, having faith for your own finances is different than having faith that you will get that call to do xyz. You get me? If you are wondering how you will pay for this or that bill or the mortgage or tuition payment, it can get a bit more desperate.
Yet, it is faith in these very situations that tells you who you really are and what you really believe. Sometimes I think I am in denial because I am "not sweating it" although logically my mind is telling me "girl, you better start sweating it!". I am leaving it in God’s hands. I know that His will for me may involve more pain than I have already endured in my life. That’s the journey. I don’t particularly love that reality but that is what it is folks. I know my God is a Eph 3:20 God, one that can do exceedingly and abundantly more than I can ever think or imagine…I know that he is a Mark 10:27 God for who all things are possible but I also know that God puts greater weight on my relationship with Him and not on my financial/material comfort level.
In the middle of questions and thoughts like this, I still must minister, teach and pray. This is real ministry in the real world through and with real people.
liz,
thanks for keeping it real. that’s the kind of stuff we need to hear, because spirituality and faith can be a messy business.
keep the faith hermana.
John Wimber used to say, “Faith is spelled R-I-S-K.” In my mind, I usually change the word “faith” to “trust”, because from what I understand, that’s what underlies the Greek pistis. You are risking much; may God work according to your trust. (I don’t think that can be measured in $$.)
Just discovered another blogger in S. Florida whose writing really makes me think and feel- thought I would pass his address on to you:
http://apostlejohn.blogspot.com.
Dana
An anonymous reader of my blog mentioned yours — I’m glad. I’ve enjoying reading your posts!
Faith=Risk, that’s so true. My mom in Nicaragua often speaks of this thing called fé which elludes me most times. Being in Russia, taking the risk to serve in another part of the world, helped my faith to grow. Risk does that. You’re doing that everyday with your new church.