spoke to me today…"Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest." Psalm 126:5-6

I went to NYC last weekend to celebrate with my sister church as they gave God glory for 1 year of existence on the Lower East Side. I had a great time. I was encouraged by the words of Pastor Curtis Douglas of Dabar Worship Center. I sat next to Jeremy’s dad, Pastor Rick Del Rio and he also gave me some chewy nuggets from his days of church planting (when it wasn’t the thing to do).

God confirmed in my heart to keep at this even if it is not going according to ‘my’ plan. His plan is the one that will prevail and I was remained of that. This Psalm spoke to my life because since there are days when I cry doing what I do, I know there is coming a day when … the tide will turn and I will see the harvest. Praise God.

Yesterday, I started my day by attending my school’s graduation. As faculty we have to walk and lead the procession. I always get emotional at graduations because its such a great thing to see other people achieve their dream, their goal. It reminds me of the times I did and of course, of the graduation to come for me when I finally become Dr. Liz Rios. A girl from the projects of the Lower East Side, raised by a single mom. Only God.

We went to Cheesecake Factory (for Mother’s Day) but when I went home to prepare for Sunday, wow…what a spirit of depression. We’d heard a few folks weren’t coming and things this week have just been totally crazy personally and otherwise. My question to God was "how do we speak to others when our own life is so hard?" I cried alot last night. My friend Marcy called just at the right time, and prayed for me. I cried some more. I could not sleep but in my mind the scripture "be anxious for nothing…" kept flashing like a neon sign.  I have to remember that almost everything comes from nothing.  I need to remember that its by God’s spirit not my spirit or anyone else’s. I think we need to revamp, our move while we all agreed has not worked to our favor, now everyone is not "feelin’ 1 pm service". We love the building and we truly do feel God was all over that but in Florida people want to be "in and out" early. The latest service people are willing to go to is 12 noon.  Sooooo, this is being evaluated.

On another note, I’ve been reading The Missional Leader. Very interesting book. Very. I love the idea of a church not revolving around the pastors i.e. the pastor has to be at every meeting to validate its importance, I love the idea of releasing people into multiple ministries in the church (we’ve actually been talking about this), and the idea that we as leaders in this new culture are to be cultivators of imagination and creativity. I pray God put us on the path of those imaginative/creative souls who want to step it up for Jesus.

Finally, I saw this post and said wow. 

This pose was all the rage in 1983 when I graduated from Norman Thomas High School…and this was the place to take your pics too..Murray Studios on Rivington/Clinton Streets. I don’t know how much my mom paid for these pics but you know I never knew we were poor until I applied to college. I remember when I was like 11 years old, my mom and I walked by a furniture store and they had the prettiest pink and white canopy bedroom set, so princess-like and well, I wanted it. I asked my mom and she said she could not get it, we went home, I was sad but life went on. On my next birthday (a few months later) when I arrived home from school, there was the princess bedroom waiting for me. I felt like a princess that day and my mom was super woman. I loved that bedroom until the day I left for college.

Thanks mom for working hard to give me and Wanda (my sis) what we wanted. I know it wasn’t easy as a Mom now have a little taste of the sacrifices you made, not all because you were alone (I’m not), you worked two jobs, I don’t and well, you had it rough. I hope life treats you well when you finally get your dream and move to Puerto Rico, you deserve it after working so hard. Reflecting… I wish I had my family near me, I miss my sis and her kids. Life right? Maybe one day…maybe.

Ok folks so you know I tested myself and well, the results were a bit shocking. But my loving husband took the test and well he tested a bit more…pastoral…so guess who I’m married too…at 27 questions he’s

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Rudy I did your test and when I chose the minimum questions came out like Hitler (it said I was paranoid and to relief stress I kill my enemies lol) and now this after 27 questions…hmmm, ya think this would ruin my pastoral rep? I don’t know which is worse, a killer or a sexual deviant as a pastor. Lord help me.

My two favorite Rivera’s (Rev. Dr. Marcos Rivera and Rev. Dr. Raymond Rivera graced the front page of the May issue of the Tristate Voice as the Editor shared his take on the Leadership Summit which took place in April. Unfortunately, the article is not up yet at their site but check into it, it’ll be up soon. But Tom Campisi, the Editor, sent me a copy that arrived today. One of the key themes of the event was the fact that as the Latino church we’ve made great strides, we’ve survived more things than perhaps many would have thought and that mentoring is important. The beauty of the gathering was that senior leaders showed up and wanted to be there. The challenge now is for this group of leaders to put their money where they said their heart is. We are all good at talking about what we wish we could do but as I was telling my good friend and brotha, David Ramos we ain’t getting any younger and we don’t have the luxury of time to keep "talking". We have to write "and" diagolue. That is why I appreciate Rudy and Jeremy because they make the time to ‘write’ and help others see the world from their lenses. There are so many ways that the senior leaders in our Latino (and other ethnic) church leaders could help the emerging group of leaders. And like Rev. Ray Rivera used to tell me all the time, "what do you mean, emerging, you’ve emerged!" Some of us are already doing things, Rudy, David, Jose Humphreys, Dan and Marcy Ramos, Jeremy, Abner and a host of others. We just don’t want to have to beg people to help us all the time. Some of us since we’ve been in the nonprofit world for so long, have grown used to rejection and the asking but why should we have to? I had a conversation with David today on the phone (after he spoke with Rudy) and the bottomline is that we know God called us to do what we do, we do it because we love God above all else but it isn’t easy for a myriad of reasons. Those who know of us and our work and our work ethic, especially those who say they "want to help" should ask "how can we help". You know why I pray that I come into some money…so I can give it away. I want to say Hey Rudy here’s $X and Jeremy here’s $Y and Dave you wanted to get a budget for LLC let me give you $X to start you off. Why is it that the people that can, don’t. Anyway, all this to say, the Leadership Summit and all the other gatherings around the country are great but now what? How are we all to put our money (or whatever it is you can do) where our heart is?

On another note, my friends over at LLC are hosting Brian McClaren. I wish I could go just to give him a hug! But I’ll be in NYC next week to attend my sister church’s anniversary banquet where they will have the awesome Pastor Douglas sharing (I’ll also be preaching at their Sunday service back by my old stomping grounds, the Lower East Side, Ave D). Thus, that means I can’t be going to NYC back to back weekends (however tempting) as my mommy duty takes precedence and my boys are off from school and don’t start summer camp until May 30th. But I wish them well. Here’s the flyer. Download mclarenlatest.pdf . Tell everyone you know!

Also Rudy has published…again…but this time it’s his own book "Urban and Multi-Ethnic Outreach". Get it here.

Finally, pray for me. I will be preaching the next three Sundays. This Sunday, I’ll be tackling the Da Vinci Code and Women. I know not your ordinary Mother’s Day message but what better way to introduce people to the impact of women and particularly Mary Magdalene then on Mother’s Day..the week the movie comes out. The ladies of early Christian history were the mother’s of women in leadership and showcase that Jesus did not oppress women and that while he certainly had a close relationship with Mary Magdalene, he most certainly did not marry her and have a child!  Next Sunday, I’ll be preaching on the "Greatness of Small Beginnings" in line with my sister church’s theme based on Zechariah 4:10. It’s juicy for me and it also speaks to my life as a church planter. I have no idea yet what I will preach the following Sunday. But pray for me. I need it. I am going through a tough time right now and feel my faith is being stretched more than I can handle and I am feeling the pinch. But I shall go on, trusting that God has all of my future and my children’s future planned out! So I chose to remember what Marsha Petrie Sue says in her book, The CEO of YOU, "every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be." You do the same ya hear!

My school is hosting a few seminars to share the truth with those who seek it. See below. We at Wounded Healer will be sharing on this topic on May 28, 2006 and we’ll take a group with us to one of the seminars listed. If you are in the area, please do stop by.

In advance of one of the most controversial films to hit the silver screen in decades — The Da Vinci Code – Trinity International University is launching two highly anticipated seminars: The Da Vinci Code: Fact or Fiction Seminars to help answer questions that the religious community feels will be in the minds of those who see the movie or have read the book. Since the school has sites in both Dade and Broward counties, it has made arrangements to hold these seminars in both. There will be two locations for the Dade Seminars. One site is the First Baptist Church of Coral Park in Miami, FL on Friday, May 12th, 2006 in English from 7:30 p.m. – 10:00 p.m., and on Saturday, June 17^th in Spanish from 8:30 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.  The other site is the FIU Graham Center(GC 140) on June 12^th from 7:00 p.m. – 9:30 p.m.  The Broward Seminars will be held at Pines Baptist Church in Pembroke Pines, FL on Saturday, June 10th, 2006, from 10:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. The purpose of the seminars is to be a foundational source of historical fact and biblically-sound discussion addressing the points of dispute originating in Dan Brown’s best-selling novel by the same name. Rev. Dr. Roger Felipe, one of the discussion facilitators and new Program Director of the Master of Arts (Religion) program at Trinity believes these seminars will “help clarify misconceptions about Jesus, Christian history, and the New Testament Gospels.” Other seminar facilitators include Dr. Gary Cohen, professor of Theology and Bible, and Rev. Dave Taylor, Th.M., professor of Biblical Studies, Dr. Erik Larson, Director of the Graduate Program for Religious Studies at Florida International University, and Dr. Antonio Ramos, professor of History, at The Center for Theological Studies.

The book makes many claims that organizers note are simply historically inaccurate and untenable, among them the assertion that Jesus and Mary Magdalene had a secret marriage relationship that produced a child. The book also claims that Jesus was not regarded as God until the 4th-century Council of Nicaea. This is not a reactive event as much as a proactive one, since Trinity believes that many people will get a distorted view of the truth of the Bible. As an educational institution, Trinity seeks to help shed some light and truth in this arena. It’s literally “the Gospel Code vs. The Da Vinci Code”. “Don’t know much about history," croons the song. That’s surely the condition of society as well as the Church today. Therefore, Trinity’s The Da Vinci Code: Fact or Fiction Seminars celebrate the opportunity to share biblical history with those hungry to find out the truth.

You should care because you don’t know the future and one day you or someone you love may be the victim of medical malpractice. The reality is that most people just don’t give a flyin’ hoot about most things until it hits them HARD in their own family. Consider the AIDS epidemic, that went on for years with most people turning their faces until one day, news came home that Tio Johnny or Cousin Tita had HIV/AIDS. The same is true with medical malpractice. I never thought I would be the mom of a severely physically challenged child. I remember looking at mom’s with kids that were “disabled” and never even thinking it would/could happen to me. Isn’t that the story for most of us? We never think the most tragic things will happen to us. And thus, we never really actively advocate for any of “those” things that can help reduce the burden for those that are actually going to have to go through it or are going through it. Such is the case with doctors. Perhaps you remember the debate about malpractice caps for plantiffs (those who sue) and the entire coalition of doctors for it. Bush was for it. Many states adopted it. Many advertised that not having a cap on malpractice raises insurance costs for ALL people. Well that isn’t exactly true. But then again, most ads on tv especially during a season to vote are half-truths. Anyway, all this to say, this is very important to me. I am in year 5 of a lawsuit against a major hospital in NYC and their Neonatal docs. I didn’t even think of suing (cause we Latinos are so nice!) until my son’s neurosurgeon told me to, during a discussion in the NICU, one of those “in-between the lines” conversations, but of course, she denied she ever told me that to her superiors in a letter! This site www.centerjd.org/free/mythbusters-free/mb_s22s23.htm gives a clearer picture. I live with the reality every day that my son can end up needing a new brain surgery for his shunt (and brain surgery is serious enough that one false move can cause death), I live with the sadness that he will never play catch or swim in the pool with his brother. I’ll never hear him call for Mami or Papi, and he’ll never know what I look like (cause his brain damage caused cortical blindness, his eyes are fine the brain just can’t tell his eyes to see). DJ takes 3 different medicines every day and they don’t cost $1, he needs a new wheelchair and the insurance company has denied our choice 2x. Yet doctors say they should be the ones who have the privilege of helping our government decide how lawsuits are awarded. I’m sorry but there it goes again, injustice for the voiceless, pocketless, faceless person who was just living when life changed…in an instance.I’m not saying that bad things don’t happen, they do, even when you get great care and the docs are super. But that WAS NOT the case in my situation. I lived for nearly two yeas in and out of the hospital and I am convinced had I not, DJ would already be dead. I caught nurses ready to give him wrong medication (meant for another patient and her reply was oops I get confused sometimes!!), I’ve told doctors what to not bother with because others have tried that particular procedure before but because they are SO SMART and I am not, they do it anyway…only to have caused my son severe distress and STILL not be able to do what they wanted to do. I kept a log in the hospital of everything that took place (at that time it was just for me and because I thought that one day I could read it to DJ when he was “healed” and he could see what God had done) but that journal was a good thing “so says my lawyer”.
So this is why you should care. Because one day…the voiceless, pocketless, faceless person could be you and you won’t be able to do anything for your loved one because the masses didn’t stand up for patient rights when they could.

to be good if God has called you to be great. So says, Thom S. Rainer in his book, Breakout Churches. What has God called you to be?

Today I spent the day by my pool finishing up my dissertation proposal for my 100th submission to my committee chair. My topic is on transformative spirituality and how a christian school of higher education can develop leaders of character while creating opportunities for this type of spirituality. In actuality, I’m still here in front of my pool at 7:49 pm. My son DJ has been with me all day. We took dips in and out of the pool and then off to writing I went. I want to be finished with this FOR REAL by September. However, writing this mega paper made me reflect on leadership. My leadership in particular. Maybe its also because by this time I was ‘hoping’ that more people would have joined our efforts at Wounded Healer. It’s ok to hope right? We are not ‘focusing’ on that by any means but we also know that anything that is healthy grows organically. Florida is tough ground you see. Churches (God) competes with the weather, outdoor activities and houses. What do I mean by the latter? Well, even poor people out here have a house but they have two or three jobs each just to pay the mortgage. So the last thing on someone’s mind is ‘going to church’. We had someone coming for a while who knows he needs God in his life but he’s divorced and has 3 kids and a very pissed off ex-wife, so what is the guy to do. He has to go make the donuts. I guess for me as I contemplate this whole thing is that while its tough, and you go into it knowing its tough, nothing compares to the actual feelings of ups and downs you go through as a church planter. Man, its tough. And when you are a couple, who’s turn will it be to the be encourager? What if on a particular day you are both discouraged? Being bivocational adds its own challenges as well. You get tired. You are giving 100% at work and then you have to give 120% at the church you founded. This is why church planters talk about supernatural power. God HAS to be all over it because its those moments of meaning that give you the next nugget to keep going. I just found out one of our faithful attenders is leaving because she needs Spanish. While I totally understand and we aren’t even thinking of starting Spanish services just yet, it still feels sad. So just as we go into our 2nd year, we have our first walk-away. Just the other day, I had a meeting with some folks and when we talked about the philosophy of our ministry, they were so excited. That’s nice. But how does that translate into “adding to our numbers daily,” “breaking bread together” and “turning the world upside”. With all this said, and with the times that yes, I want to throw in the towel, I have to say that I feel a breakthrough is about to come and we can’t give up. I also feel we are working out our theology, our idea of leading and using others. We are planning a “Reimagining the Church” gathering this Summer and we are going to invite non-Christians, Christians (new and mature), youth and ministers. We just want to hear people out especially since they have lived here much longer than we have. But we just know there has to be a group of people who want to cause a revolution first of Spirit (in themselves) and then of the community around them. As Assembly of God ministers, we don’t necessarily fit in in mode of thinking but we are unapologetically pentecostal and believe in the gifts and the power of the Holy Spirit. However, how do we translate that for today’s society. This is one long random thought huh? That is what thought #1 as I sit out by the pool this beautiful South Florida evening. My husband in front of me on the table preparing a message for Sunday (while he’s sick), me with books around me like Evangelism Outside the Box, Learning to Lead, Revolution of Character, the 360 degree Leader and of course, my dissertation proposal which I am about to attack for editing purposes. I have to lead worship on Sunday and for the most part, God has moved and we’ve become alot better. Thanks to our awesome musicians and Rachel, our main worship leader now (thank you Jesus I get to rest sometimes). But with all that said, we still have a lot of work to do and not enough people to help us do it…not for US, but for the Kingdom. I hate to believe that what people say about Florida is true that it is a state of retirees. I believe soon it will be a state of revolutionaries. Not a state of people ready to die but people ready to live for Jesus no matter the cost and no matter the tempations of the sun, houses, boating, etc. One day I’ll write about it all. How one day, it all changed…from a culture that was like death to a culture that is death-defying. Just keep checking in. The day is coming and I for one can’t wait. In the meantime, I’ll encourage myself. I need to…every minute of every day. Selah.