I am still in the process of reading The Heretic’s Guide to Eternity. I have highlighted a bunch of things and will be giving comments on it in a few. Sometimes I just have to sit with "it" the text I’ve just read. Some parts of it scare me because I feel he’s on to something and other parts of it make me say "you are walking a dangerous line". So come back I should have something soon.
However, in light of reading this book and the others on my desk, I am also reflecting on when someone should leave a church. I am pastoring a small church plant. Of course, we notice when people "come" , "when people don’t return" and when regular members are "gone for along time". Since we started in Jan 2005, we have only lost one person who was predominately spanish speaking and wanted a spanish speaking church, which while in our plans for the future–is not one of our primary goals at this stage in the game. Recently, however I personally have been struggling with someone in the church. Not to get into detail about that situation…but to help all of us reflect on when its time to leave a church, I started to research and just do my own reflecting. Here’s what I personally think:
1. Crapola happens. For some reason most of the world expects great things to happen all of the time and when it doesn’t we blame everyone around us but never look at ourselves. I’ve come to a point in my life where I realize there will be alot more valley’s then mountaintops but in the midst of all that God is still worthy of my worship and I better learn to enjoy the mountaintops. Decisions are things we make and some of us decide to stay frozen forever because we don’t want to risk getting hurt again. I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to be hurt. I don’t want to be hurt again. But we all get hurt. Trust me I’ve been hurt by friends, family, co-workers and it made me for a while want to stop running the race. I wanted to have a pity party but people we will never reach our destiny if we stop because of all the crapola that happens in life.
2. Church was never the place where heaven was to reside. First of all let’s forget about a building people go to because that definitely was not meant to be "church" but let’s think of the people who make up the "church". We all need Jesus and thus no matter our socioeconomic level or pedigree, we "all for short of the glory of God". Sin. Whether we are ‘practicing sin’ or just ‘fall into sin’ on ocassion, it still makes us part of the "all". We hurt each other sometimes on purpose due to sin and sometimes we hurt each other out of ignorance and uncommunicated expectations. But are we to walk away every time someone hurts us…who is this about anyway…them or God. I read a good article on this read it here. Heaven is well…in heaven. On this side of earth, we have to remember we are all imperfect individuals trying to follow Jesus.
3. Some folks want a "Me" church and if you are not that don’t be apologetic about it. WHF is not a "me" church. Although some have tried to make us into one we have not allowed that to happen. While we don’t want to be like the churches we’ve experienced or know about that are stay in an unhealthly culture after they ‘know’ its not healthy, we also don’t want to be an ‘anything’ goes kind of church where we are catering to individualism. We want to be full gospel preaching victory and struggle, joy and pain–most places only want to focus on the good stuff which is why when something bad happens people lose it or they want to try every new "trend".
Maybe it’s time to find a church that closer fits the bible’s plan:
"And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved". –Acts 2:42-47
"If there is anything in the church to which you belong
which is contrary to the inspired Word, leave that church."
–CH Spurgeon
As a pastor of course I would love it if everyone who comes to our church stays. But I want them to stay because they love it there…because it is a place where they are getting fed, are challenged to grow not just by doing things for the kingdom either…but grow spiritually AND emotionally (we have many spiritual giants but emotional midgets in the Kingdom). My husband and I never did this before and its an incredibly humbling adventure to care for souls but we also aren’t faking the funk. We don’t want to walk around with an ‘air’ about us because we are pastors…we want to be real about the journey and share the struggle together with our folks.
Bottomline, for me its time to leave a church when you can’t wake up in the morning because you have knots in your stomach thinking about facing the people you’ll see. You see, if you have all that physical drama you can’t concentrate on the Word being spoken, you can’t receive a hug from someone without being suspicious, its just an all out mess. So the church MAY BE a biblical church as the article link mentions BUT if you are complaining more than being part of the solution, if you are dreading going or worse, you don’t go at all but still consider yourself a part of the church…its time to make it official and leave. Now…you must know that there is no perfect church in all the world…so becoming a church leaver may be something you will become used to as well.
