NOTE: I’m going to be talking about S-e-x in this post.

That’s the name I am thinking of giving a CEFL event in 2007 for married women. I think alot about how sex is one thing most Christians don’t talk about. In the sisterhood we hear alot about "the fire going out", "he had / she had an affair", "I love my wife/husband but I just don’t get turned on anymore". This is a reality. One thing I think happens is that as Christians some folks think that they are immune to the temptations of the world. In addition, I think many think that you can’t have fun in the bedroom. As partarkers of something GOD created, we should be having some awesome sex.

I’ve had talks with my sister friends about how important sex is in marriage - or even if it’s important. It seems some in the church have downplayed the importance of sex in marriage. Does the Bible address this? Yes! The idea that sex is not important to marriage is the very thing that the Apostle Paul is strongly arguing against in the first part of 1 Corinthians 7. You have to read it again, get out those commentaries and exam the scripture again!

In the Greek, Paul is saying that we are each owed sex by our spouse. Yeap, that is right. I think cognitively we understand that to be the case, but with most christians something happens and they seriously become so spiritually minded that they are no earthly good in bed! A man who does not meet his wife’s need for emotional intimacy is making it impossible to fulfill his obligation to her sexually.  In the same way, a woman who thinks she can just lay on the bed with no visual stimulation for her husband is looking for some serious trouble battling her husband’s fantasy life.

Why am I even talking about this, well for starters because I am 1) REAL ; 2) frustrated with the topics many women ministries talk about and 3) want to do something about it. I am NOT advocating for pre-marital sex (although I am very well aware that is happens in the church in a big way!!!) but I am advocating for absolutely mind-blowing sex if you ARE married.This is the way God wants it. He wants us to enjoy what He created without having to resort to a secret life of porn and side affairs and a host of other deviant behaviors that eventually do come out.

I am thinking of hosting slumber parties for women only. I did think of how does that look for a pastor to be hosting such events. I figure it this way…I am helping couples and I am acknowledging that santified sisters have an intimate side. Why is it that we have to talk to our non-christian friends about such things when it was the God that we serve who created it in the first place. And shouldn’t the discussion be held in light of God’s word as opposed to the wild stuff going on in the world? Thus I think it is very appropriate for me to host such a party. This lady did and she is devout Christian.This lady started a ministry doing it. He wrote a book about it. He preached about it. Anthony Bradley blogged about it. Christianity Today wrote a 53 page report about it (see highlights below):

A few highlights from this 53-page report

• Nearly 9 in 10 pastors are counseling a parishioner on sexual issues once a year or more.

• 71% of pastors and 49% of laity are "very satisfied" with their marriage.

• 55% of pastors and 64% of laity would like their sexual intimacy to be more frequent.

• 5% of pastors and 14% of laity have committed adultery. The primary reason was marital dissatisfaction.

• Laity respondents are more likely than pastors to confess adultery to their spouses (45% to 20%).

• Very few churches have established policies to protect pastors from sexual temptation. The most frequent policy is to have a window in the pastor’s office door (27%).

So, with all this said, I am not one bit embarrassed about posting this here. Although my husband or family members might be. Heck, this is one topic we SHOULD be talking about because again…there are santified sisters with an intimate side just waiting to be heard and educated on the wonderful sex she could be having with her husband. Here’s to more passion in our CHRISTIAN homes.