Eliacin Rosario wrote this open letter on his blog and I think he’s right on. I’m writing back to you dear friend…
You ask how I am doing…well, I must confess its been a whirlwind for me lately. I’ve been stretched in ways I never thought I could be. I’ve struggled and continue to struggle with my pentecostal roots and the "faith" perspective and my too logical mind telling me that I’m "too pentecostal" believing that God did call me, that God does have a plan to prosper me and make me a blessing. I’ve cried over the way I’ve been treated different times of my life, I’ve been frustrated over how many times I trusted and got burned but continue to trust anyway, I’ve laughed at my belief that there ‘are’ good people out there even though I’ve had more of my share of ‘evil’ people. Hmmm, how I’m doing…to play off the movie "I Think I Love My Wife," I would say, "I Think I Love My Life" but sometimes I wish it didn’t have so much pain and unanswered questions. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
You ask if I have time for community? Honestly, I wish I had more of it. In Florida, people drive everywhere, have 2 or 3 jobs to keep up with the Rivera’s and are comfortable thus they have to have a super compelling reason to leave their home to work on community. Sometimes in the midst of many, I am lonely. So, I think I need work in this area.
You ask about the Word in my life…As I read the word this past week, a scripture verse that has spoken to me and that I’ve been reflecting on since is Psalm 20:6 which says "Now this I know: The Lord gives victory to his anointed." I’ve been challenged with the first part of this scripture, now this I know. I’ve asked myself, "Liz do you really KNOW this NOW?"
My prayer life? One of the great things of not having a nine to five is time for spiritual disciplines. I’ve had time to pray and reflect and journal. My friend and I are going to a silent retreat as well. Although I could always time more time to pray and listen to God, I feel good about where I am right now.
I don’t have a spiritual director besides the Holy Spirit (oh oh my Pentecostal comes out lol). My friend, my comforter does guide me and speaks to my heart. Sometimes truth is that I don’t like what I’m told or shown.
Eliacin you mention you wish I would show more of myself…I think I show alot of myself on this blog. I’ve even been told too much. That is almost a no-no for those aspiring to be anything in the church. But I don’t care. I’m "gonna be me" and I like you wish I would see more of the "people" on the blogs I read instead of just "news" but that won’t get your blog visits up. I was sharing with my friend just yesterday after I made dinner for all of us (community si?) that it would be interesting to see how many leaders waver between faith and fact, between anger and peace, etc. Imagine that!
Liz,
Thank you for your honesty. I am very interested in the new fresh expression of christian faith and church. But it concerns me that a lot of it, as performance and programatic. I can only judge by my experience, and I know many God loving people moved by the Spirit to challenge and bring a new breath into a dying church, but I also know many who are way to busy performing and going around with it, that their lives does not express the sense of spirituality and community they talk about. We know so much but live so poorly. I am not speaking as a detached observer. I certainly include myself in this.
Liz,
Thank you for your honesty. I am very interested in the new fresh expression of christian faith and church. But it concerns me that a lot of it, as performance and programatic. I can only judge by my experience, and I know many God loving people moved by the Spirit to challenge and bring a new breath into a dying church, but I also know many who are way to busy performing and going around with it, that their lives does not express the sense of spirituality and community they talk about. We know so much but live so poorly. I am not speaking as a detached observer. I certainly include myself in this.