It’s 9:35 pm and this is a new update on DJ. All I can say is that we’ve been through a big one. Yesterday while most people were celebrating Mother’s Day I was in the ER praying that my little boy would survive. Long, long story short…he went into cardiac arrest 5 times was resusitated and is now stable. Although he is still in critical condition because he is still on a ventilator, the docs say he is heading in the right direction. With God’s grace and mercy, we may just get out of yet another close call and DJ may just make it out from near death yet again!

I can’t quite explain what it is like for a mother to see a frenzy of activity surrounding the life and death calls made my docs and nurses for her own child. I don’t think I had a tear left in me yesterday. My eyes hurt from so much crying and my heart still aches and seeing him so helpless in his hospital bed with tubes upon tubes coming out of him.

It is indeed a gift to be allowed to have a healthy child…those of you who have it never take it for granted. Perhaps you will have other pains as a parent because that is just parenthood on this side of heaven, but I pray that none of you ever have to deal with seeing your child die and come back from that place.

The hospital where I’m at has wireless in the rooms so while I type right now, DJ is right next to me. A flurry of people have come and prayed for us in the hospital room and I have just felt so covered in prayer. I am more at peace with all this now then I was 7 years ago when my journey with DJ started. I was super angry at God back then, today not so much. Its more of pain in the midst of accepting God’s sovereignty. I can’t do a thing, God alone decides.

Hiram and I do have a lot of decisions to make based on the wake up call of DJ’s fragile state and that may be at the cost of fulfilling our destiny…if the destiny we thought was ahead is indeed the destiny that God had planned. All we know is that right now, we can’t think of anything else then being the very best fully involved parents to both DJ and my older son, Samuel–who has definitely been affected by all this drama. And if God allows all things then maybe that is a message to us as well. We don’t think we can do it or have it all.

I want to thank those of you who have called, emailed, commented on this blog about your prayers for DJ and our family. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.