I was talking with my friend and associate pastor today about what constitutes success in the church planting world, I told her numbers. Everything I have read tells me that growth, fast growth is a great sign that God is moving in your midst. My pentecostal upbringing tells me numerical growth is a great sign of God’s calling. Hmmm, I guess I am not called and God is not moving because our fellowship is small. We’ve been at this for two years going on three in January and we are no closer to the magic 100 people mark.

This post by Dr. Ryan Bolger discusses how some students in his class thought that the way numbers are used in the church are evil. He, however, did bring up a good point that we can flip the script and use numbers to evaluate how members are living out the theology and mission shared from the pulpit.

However, I still think that most of the church planting world and church world in general is obssessed with numbers. I think for the most part of my first two years I was also. You don’t go into planting thinking that you would be and you don’t want to be but its hard not to be. Preparation for 5 is the same as if you were preparing for 500 because you are hoping for more people to show up. Right?

SO yeah in a way I think numbers are way too important. The funny thing is that those who have 150 start thinking of 300…I get email all the time from church growth experts (pastors who planted and were successful) sharing how to break the next growth barrier. So no one is ever really satisfied with what they got…

I say, the heck with the numbers, I agree with Dr. Bolger if you want to evaluate something, evaluate how many people are walking their talk in your church, evaluate how many people are giving more to help the poor, evaluate how many people get involved in the life of the church and don’t just sit down and complain about all the things they wish the church could provide for them “before” they even think of “giving” time, talent or treasure.

Whoever you are and whatever you are doing for the Lord…just love what you are doing, do it the way you dreamed it in your head even if everyone around you thinks its not “what church looks like” and that you must be totally losing it. As we speak, our small faith community is looking into meeting in a wine club with a stage and living room furniture…definitely not the church many of our Latino community residents would recommend anyone to but heck its not about them is it? It’s funny because we hear this all the time, “wow, your church is great!” “wow, your church is so unique” but they don’t stay…sure it could be alot of things like our music, our theology, my looks, the location but in my gut I think it is something else and I want to share this with you…

 Not many people have the guts to follow their heart and become part of a faith community that doesn’t look like the one their mami or papi went to;

Not many people have the spirit to walk with a community of faith as it learns to blaze their own path, many are more content following a path already tried and tested, who wants to work that hard;

I don’t know where my faith community is heading, I don’t know where we will be in a year, how many will be with us and how many would have left us (already there have been a few who could not hang with us) but this I know for sure…whoever we’ve reached with the gospel story, whomever we have touched with an environment that worships a God that restores and refreshes, those numbers count even if it never is more than what is deemed successful in the eyes of all the folks writing the books.

Remember, Jesus left the 99 for the 1…1 counts.

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.
–Robert Louis Stevenson

There are times in life when I have felt that I have not made a difference to anyone in this world because the harvest was not plentiful. What I mean by this is that the expected outcome did not come to fruition at all or in the manner in which I thought it would. It was in those times that I felt most like giving up or walking away…it’s easy to think these thoughts when life doesn’t turn out the way we had planned it would. We are people who need to feel like we are in control even when we verbalize that we ‘trust’ God.

But perhaps we should not look for the harvest but rejoice that we have planted. You may have been kind to people, you may have taken a leadership position that no one dared to take, you may have started an organization, group, something and in those moments when you spoke to the world, when you allowed your gifting to shine, you blessed someone. Isn’t that what God wants…for us to look at our life by what we’ve planted, the obedience to walk the walk He’s called us to walk even if there is no crowd to applaud, no one calling your name?

I am at peace right now. I feel terrific. I have failed at some things, super succeeded in others, but all those attempts at something whether successful or failure in my eyes where great in the eyes of the one that matters. Remember that next time something you tried to do didn’t work out the way you would. Judge your own life by the seeds you plant, not the harvest that you expected.

There is a new magazine out that I think many who are into the web, media and social networking would like, its called Collide Magazine.  Developed by the folks over at Worship House Media and Igniter Media it is totally dedicated to “exploring the use of media in all its forms to communicate spiritual truth and enhance the worship experience.”

I am excited about it because it helps us church folk keep up-t0-date on what are the best resources to use that help us bring the gospel relevance to today’s world using all the media forms  that collide.

I was sent an article by Leonard Sweet which can be found on www.leonardsweet.com.

It gave me reason for pause because I have at times in my life been one that has said “I don’t do”. Usually I am convicted and I end up “doing” but its been those who have not said “I don’t do”…that end up changing the world.  I salute those folks. I hope to be one of them someday.

From his article…

The world’s a better place because a German monk named Martin Luther did not say, “I don’t do doors.”

The world’s a better place because an Oxford don named John Wesley didn’t say “I don’t do preaching in fields.”

The world’s a better place because Moses didn’t say, “I don’t do Pharaohs or mass migrations.”

The world’s a better place because Noah didn’t say, “I don’t do arks and animals.”

The world’s a better place because Rahab didn’t say, “I don’t do enemy spies.”

the world’s a better place because Ruth didn’t say, “I don’t do Mothers-in-law.”

The world’s a better place because Samuel didn’t say, “I don’t do mornings.”

The world’s a better place because David didn’t say, “I don’t do giants.”

The world’s a better place because Peter didn’t say “I don’t do Gentiles.”

The world’s a better place because John didn’t say, “I don’t do deserts.”

The world’s a better place because Mary didn’t say, “I don’t do virgin births.”

The world’s a better Place because Paul didn’t say “I don’t do correspondence.”

The world’s a better place because Mary Magdalene didn’t say, “I don’t do feet.”

The world’s a better place because Jesus didn’t sayl “I don’t do crosses.”

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Gil Bailie

Yesterday was my second son’s birthday, Daniel Jeremiah (DJ) turned 8! His entry into the world was significant and dramatic. He was born at 26 weeks gestation weighing in at 2 pounds. Although he was doing extremely well he didn’t end up well. Why? Because the NY hospital I ended up going to in an emergency (as I was a FL resident in NY to conduct a women’s retreat for CEFL) did a whole lot of mistakes. Throughout the year journey in the hospital following his birth, my faith crumbled to less than the size of a mustard seed. My husband and I handled the entire ordeal very differently and we almost became a statistic…getting very near a divorce. BUT GOD, intervened into our situation, saved my marriage (because we BOTH wanted him too) and I became alive probably for the first time.

I became alive after DJ’s 28 surgeries, near death experiences because I had the time to reflect on my life, what I believed, what was important and yes, what was not as important as people had made me believe. 

It was during this journey that I became more committed to helping women, to using my gifts and talents for the Kingdom. It was during this journey that I fell in love with me. The me I had become after tremendous pain and struggle.

I learned that what makes me come alive is not what people think of me…not what my titles say I am, not what my credentials speak to the world. No, what makes me come alive is my love for a God who I learned doesn’t always save you from situations and who loves me even when I am a major screw up (although you may never know just how much). My family makes me come alive, gosh I never understand the immense love I have for my husband and children. It’s an amazing, take your breath away kind of love and I totally love spending most of my time with my familia.

What also makes me come alive is what I attempt to do with the gifts and talents I’ve been given. Truth be told, there are times when I am really lazy and don’t want to do anything (also something that is very, very common in FL where people don’t want to do a thing!!) but there is this inner desire to speak into the hearts of women who feel life is over and they can’t possibly get back up again. That is such a lie from the pit of hell. I know when I am on the dark side, I know when I am in a pit, I also know the exhilirating feeling of watching how through God’s help a person can get back up again and REBOUND.

So today, I challenge those of you who are reading this…take the time to reflect on what makes you come alive. Don’t let others dictate to you what that is. If you started doing something and it is taking your life away as opposed to giving you life, stop! Redirect your efforts. Yes, people will talk. Yes, people will have opinions but like I tell my husband…no one lives our life. No one pays our mortgage or our bills. Thus, no one’s opinion counts. Do what makes you come alive. God alone knows our future and has empowered us with everything we need to make that come into fruition.

One last thing, sometimes we try things and they don’t come out the way we wanted. In the world’s eyes we may be a failure. But know this, failure is not final. Celebrate the fact that you attempted something while others could only sit on the sidelines and wait to see how it would all come out.  In my life, there were many that thought I would be barefoot and pregnant by 18 just because I started dating young. Those very people now look in amazement that this girl from the Lower East Side of Manhattan got a doctorate, only has TWO kids and started having them at 32. Don’t let anyone’s words over you be prophetic unless you know in your heart God spoke them to you first.

So go out there, come alive and live the life God ordained for you to live. Later for what others think.

Palante, Siempre Palante!

Captain Jean-Luc Picard:

Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.

played by Patrick Stewart, from the film “Star Trek: Generations”

We had a great time in Puerto Rico celebrating my friend Betsy’s 50th Birthday! She looks fantastic to be in her 50’s…yeah, I was telling everyone her age because I was celebrating the fact that she is all that and a bag of chips….

While the beginning of the trip was making me feel like perhaps I had made a mistake in choosing the place I did (Rio Mar Resort in Rio Grande) due to some service issues when we arrived, that was quickly changed and in no small part to a blast from my past, a puppy love I had. He apparently has done quite well in PR and had some hookups that we appreciated and enjoyed i.e. free buffet breakfasts, a Luquillo beach lunch on him, chocolate covered strawberries and wine AND champagne in our room and well…let’s just say it was off the hook and made celebrating that much more awesome. Gracias Lez! You da bomb!!

In addition, what was so impactful for me was the fact that I visited family that I had not seen in over 18 years!!! Yes, people it was THAT long since I visited La Isla and that WILL NOT happen again. I felt so connected to my roots and mi gente. Although the Isla needs some help in some areas, the place is still beau-ti-ful.  This was the view from my room.

The people in PR were great and my spanish was definitely being tested. But I think I did well although me and my boricuaness was called out by Lez simply by saying “Oh, so you are so Boricua? Who is the governer of Puerto Rico?” My answer was quite simply, “Dag, I’ve been dissed!” But no worries, Liz loves challenges and THAT will never happen to me again. Trust me, next time I see Lez or any other Puerto Rican from La Isla I’ll know “los kilometros de  la Isla y mucho mas!!” Let me share some of my new found knowledge…PR measures 100 miles by 35 miles with an area of 3,464 square miles. Puerto Rico has 3.6 million people - the great majority of which are US citizens. Today, Island residents live in substantial middle-class circumstances, characterized by modern urban services and amenites. About 2.7 million Puerto Ricans also reside on the US Mainland. One more thing…the governor of PR is The Honorable Aníbal Acevedo-Vilá!  

I bonded with my friends and celebrated friendship (both past and present), familia, my roots and had loads of fun. What more could I have asked for?

” A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.”  - Arabian Proverb

Here’s to my gals…who know way too much about me and still love me much more than I could have imagined.Edna and Betsy I love you. Betsy Happy 50th!!! You’ve more than survived my friend, you’ve thrived and your beauty on the inside is just complimented by your beauty on the outside.  I want to be just like you when I grow up!

More pics here.

I am so excited to be going to PR today! I haven’t been there since 1989! I haven’t been back to PR due to life you know…ministry busyness, then married life, then kids, then a special needs baby born and numerous hospitalizations so today going back for five days is just such a blessing. My mom was here from PR and left yesterday and now its my turn. Let’s see how it goes. Cya.

“One of life’s greatest tragedies is a person with a 10 x 12 capacity and a 2 x 4 soul.” Dr. Kenneth Hildebrand

Do you ever wonder about Destiny? About the reason for your existence in this world? Those who are set on fulfilling their destiny can be viewed by others a person on a selfish pursuit but if we look further we would see that destiny is anything but selfish. Destiny totally puts your agenda aside as you struggle with comfort to work on discovering who you were meant to be and what you were meant to do on this side of heaven. How is that selfish?

Destiny is all about God’s story and how we play out our role in it, it is not about our story. When we realize that we are not here by accident or some appendage added to God’s plan at the end as an oops, when we realize we are an essential piece, we want to fulfill our 10 x 12 capacity.

I want to but sometimes I don’t want to. Why? Because destiny fulfillment is not about selfish pursuit and while my soul holds on to the memory of my “before I was born” destiny crafted by God before my mom and dad decided to get together, my flesh wants to chill and not work so hard to fulfill it.

The other issue is that sometimes you are 100% sure about where you need to be heading…other times its not so obvious or you are not as sure. My embedded theology based on my latino pentecostal upbringing has shown up by being a voice that says “things aren’t easy, you are not where you are supposed to be by this time in your life, so that means you aren’t called”. Yes I too struggle with this but what I know for sure on this day is that I don’t want to have a 2 x 4 soul when I have a 10 x 12 capacity.

Lord help me to be all you want me to be even when I am not sure who that person is at this point in my life.

Selah.

I took a few fun quizzes because at this time of night, I am just cruising the net as my husband works on his My Space page next to me on the other computer.

This is what I found out about me:

You are Dark Chocolate

You live your life with intensity, always going full force. You push yourself (and others) to the limit… you want more than you can handle. An extreme person, you challenge and inspire the world!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You’re a well liked, though underrated, blogger. You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause. You’re a peaceful blogger - no drama for you! A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.