This Sunday, I will be with my man a t0tal of 20 years people! 18 years on paper as a legally married couple, 1 year dating, 1 year engaged! Wow. I can’t even believe we’ve made it this far with so much working against marriages one does have to celebrate every year they make another anniversary.

We celebrated this past Friday from the a.m. to the p.m. –it was an OMG kind of day but we ended it with a historic concert in Miami’s James L. Knight Center with Willie Colon, Cheo Feliciano and Ismael Miranda. The highlight for me was hearing Cheo Feliciano sing “Amada Mia.” Let me tell you, ladies were cryin’, swooning and well, just plain old fainting. My hubby dedicated this song to me a while ago and it has always been special but hearing it live by the man himself was a great ending to our 18 year anniversary.

Here is a video of the song: (this is when you wish you knew Spanish folks!)

So how did we last so long?

I have to first say that I think there is no clone to my man. He is just one heck of guy, God was totally thinking about me when he created Hiram. Now don’t get me wrong, he isn’t perfect (almost but not quite) and we almost walked away from it a few years ago due to a momentary lapse of judgement or outright insanity on his part BUT GOD intervened and well, as I said, 18 years people this Sunday!

So I proceed…we have lasted this long because we agree on some fundamentals like:

a. The grass always looks greener on the other side - but those who venture to the other side soon find that the fantasy was just that and reality sucketh but once you go to the other side there may not be anyone or anything waiting for you to come back. Lesson: Acknowledge that nothing is ever what it seems.

b. Temptation is there but actions don’t need to follow - So I say this respectfully to all who read this, eventually at some point in your marriage you will be tempted by a member of the opposite sex. Women have to be certifiably dumb to think that a man, their man, will never be attracted to another woman. That is just not the truth, they have eyes don’t they? And you know what, if you live in South Florida (and maybe other places as well in the summer) women are just walking naked adding more fuel to the lust fire. (I acknowledge this goes both ways as women also get tempted by males). HOWEVER, no action needs to follow the temptation. Period. As soon as it comes, run like hell. It’s biblical (see Joseph and Potiphar’s wife GENESIS CHAPTER 39:6-12). Lesson: Don’t be a fool! No one is exempt from temptation but God always provides a way out for you!

c. Keep it burning, keep it hot.  Christian women can be passionate. Christian women can turn the heat up a notch in the romance department with their hubbies and yeah, vice versa. Find out what it is that pushes the buttons for your spouse and try it. Lesson: If the fire ain’t burning one of you needs to light the match again!

d. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate! If there is anyone you should be talking to about everything, its your spouse. What you like, hate, wish for, dream of, you get the picture. If you don’t know how, read a book, go to therapy but take a proactive step because half the battle in a marriage is communication. Couples usually wait too long and by that time the marriage is at a point where God needs to do a miracle (which he can, he did in mine!) to get back on track. So don’t wait, communicate! Lesson: No one reads minds, so start talking.