I read once an illustration that shared how President Woodrow Wilson had a housekeeper who was always nagging him. Nagging about how she and her husband didn’t have more prestigious positions in life. One day she had approached the President after hearing that the Secretary of Labor had resigned and flat out asked him (the nerve, boldness!!) to appoint her husband. She said something like “my husband is perfect for his vacant position. he is a laboring man, knows what labor is and understands laboring people” (stop laughing).

With that, the President said, I appreciate the recommendation but this is an important position, requiring an influential person. She rebutted with BUT, “if you made him the secretary of labor, he would be an influential person!”

Amateur. LOL. Isn’t it just like people observing on the side lines to make a judgement call on what it takes to be in a position or worse yet thinking they have what it takes to be in a position. Geesh. There are so many people that think that a title will earn you influence. No sweetie. A title doesn’t cut it! A title only gives you a chance, an opportunity to try out what you think you already figured out in your head. It gives people time to make a call for themselves if you should or should not be in that position based on how you are doing!

July 5th I start a Summer Soul series in my church in hopes that we will get people thinking about “emotionally healthy spirituality” because so many people are dying for positions, titles, status but not so many are dying to get healthy so that when they are in those leadership positions they will be able to have and be a positive influence. Good leaders gain an influence that is usually beyond their role, bad leaders, “spiritually immature leaders” usually shrink their influence to less than when they actually had no position!

Get this one thing folks…a title, a position, doesn’t make a leader but a leader can certainly make a position. A title doesn’t cut it so stop trying to brown nose those in positions that can “grant” you leadership and start working on YOURSELF to be as healthy and aware as you can possibly be and trust me GOD WILL OPEN DOORS FOR YOU and when he does you will be ready to be a positive influence in the lives of many!

Love, Peace & Soul!

On my recent vacation I read a few books, those that know me know that that’s just what I do. I read. But I also attempt to apply what I learn into my life. Contrary to why some people accumulate knowledge, I do because I (like Pinky & the Brain) want to take over the world. Moohahhaha!!

Ok well not really take over the world. Just impact everyone around me as much as I can to make a difference in this world even if its only in my part of the world, beautiful South Florida.

Back to what I started…one of the books I finished was Tony Morgan’s Killing Cockroaches, now for a girl that grew up in the projects of the Lower East Side that intrigued me because HELLO I hate roaches! I lived with them growing up those darn night crawlers so why the heck would anyone name their book after something so well dirty and grimmy and …you get the picture.

However, after reading this easy to read book, after laughing through many a page with Morgan’s humor, I have to say its a good book for leaders to read. Especially if you can actually do something to change things in your place of leadership.  It reminds you not to get bogged down with the every day, waste your time details that in the big picture have no impact on where you are ultimately going.

Now it didn’t give me any new earth shattering knowledge but it was a big reminder of the stupid things that I could let get in the way (and have) to what I’m really supposed to be doing. If you want a “deep, theological discourse” this ain’t it. Move on. If you are looking for a quick summer read as a leader, pick it up.

I have to say, I really, really liked his sacrastic humor. Not many people could pull that off, especially in writing but the dude done did it.

Why did I know that would get your attention! In my line of work I get to talk to alot of women (and men!) and have come to realize that in many, many cases what it looks like on the “outside” is certainly what is going on on the “inside”. Marriages are breaking down and when that happens good sex, let alone crazy good sex, goes out the window! Now, I am a firm believer that “believers” can have this kind of sex but historically for various reasons we’ve treated this area of our lives as a back door, never discuss topic…even with our spouses.

Well not in my house but that is another story.  Without getting into a whole lot of hubbaloo, let me just say every couple should read this book. I’ve been contemplating doing a series of well…crazy, good sex at church. I wouldn’t be the first since a host of pastors have already been down that road. Check this out.  But I’m not the Sr. Pastor so I can only suggest series topics.

If the church must be relevant to people isn’t this a relevant topic? What do you say? Come on weigh in on this? Does your church talk about sex? If it has …how has it?

By the way, I recommend ya’ll pick up this book by Dr. Les Parrott. Who knows you might just be coming to church a whole lot happier.

As I wait for my meatloaf to be done and read my July/August 2009 issue of Outreach Magazine, a few thoughts came to mind like…

Its good to reflect on how people in your life left an imprint on you: I think alot of us zoom through life sometimes forgetting what the last experience with a person did to us…intentionally but sometimes more of denial or wishful forgetfulness.

I recently returned from NYC where I met up with people from my college days and it was an experience that left me more lifted than I even imagined. Some of the people were sorority sisters, others were fraternity men who I partied with in college but most were people who had in one way or another touched my life and I hope vice versa. That Saturday in NYC was a moment that mattered for me. It mattered because I remembered how important our experiences are in our DNA; it was important because I connected with people that I was very tight with but for reasons that were not even good ones, stopped connecting with them. Finally it was important because we got to share the great things that life has given us and even the not so great. We grew up, we were happy to see each other and wish each other a better tomorrow and some of us promised to keep the connection going.

That was a moment that mattered because those people had an imprint on my life however brief our connection was in school. I’ve learned something from my connections with them and I can’t make believe that it wasn’t influential in my life. If we are honest, all the people who have crossed our paths left their mark. I guess this weekend for me I realized just how much and I hope that there were some there that felt the same about me.

In a very real way, we should remember that as we interact with people today. Its not about first impressions its about being a positive force in someone’s life. And no, don’t get crazy, you don’t have to make an investment of days, months or years, some people impact you in a few seconds, by their actions or the words that they say or even the spirit that they bring to the atmosphere.

I’m reflective right now because that moment mattered to me. It was supposed to be just a simple reunion, but it turned out to be a time where I looked in people’s faces and remembered how connected we were at one time. I am sure when you look at your life you will find moments that matter like this as well. Sure, they would be in different settings and with different people but the moment would still be the same…no one crosses our path without leaving their imprint on our life…good or bad.

To those of you who know who you are I am so glad we connected, I am so glad we are making an effort to stay connected and I am so glad you were in my life back in the day. A part of you stayed with me and I have no regrets. I am who I am because of the sum total of my experiences and you are too. Love who you have become and let’s continue to make moments that matter.

Paz!

I am writing from my new HP Mini Netbook. I bought it from a friend who got it at a great price from BJ’s and was about to return it. I said “wait!” I will buy it from you.  I had planned on purchasing a red Dell mini notebook in the near future but this was an opportunity I could not pass up. My hope is that I will now be able to write faster from whereever I find myself. I have the mobile broadband package which will give me wi-fi anywhere from Verizon (something she had to get to get this mini so cheap).

 I leave to NYC next week and I am amazed at how quickly my agenda filled up. I am hoping that I get some earring shopping time in Soho. I love that area.

Anyway, I got book chapters to finish and a magazine to put together so I think I have a busy summer ahead of me.