I was talking with a dear friend of mine the other day and we got to talking about our lives without sharing too much of our private conversations we basically came down to this theory. In almost every other arena in life, people are ok with leaders saying I’m done, I’m out, I want to do something else with my life. But when it comes to ministry, it isn’t that easy.  We talked about how maybe that is what happened to many people we saw growing up and then they vanished from the faith-based scene. Maybe they said enough. Made me ponder….

Then on our way back from a business seminar this weekend in Orlando, my husband shares with me that the next 10-15 years of his life has to count for something. I feel the same.

I found this post on why pastors may want to quit, how musicians dream of quitting, how this guy started a teaching series on the entire foundation of people who are leading when they want to quit. But I found this guy who reminds me to ask a good question, not why should I quit but why am I doing this?

For some reason, many people think a leader doesn’t hurt, doesn’t feel the sting of betrayal or the passive-aggressive person’s silent whip. Most of my life I’ve been a rebounder. Yes it gets tiring but still I rise. Proverbs 24:16 reminds me that the “Godly may trip seven times but they will get up again…” So to help my soul sort out things I’d like to share what makes me want to quit and why I still do what I do…

What Makes Me What To Quit

1. People who use me but don’t care to know me (yet think they do!)

2. People who say they are with you but when push comes to shove -they shove the knife in real good

3. People who don’t dare tell you the things that I did to hurt them unintentionally but freely share with others

4. People who think running a church/ministry is only about time and talent

5. People who think I don’t want to enjoy my life but want me to spend 24/7 only on their needs/wants when they don’t even spend 1 hour with God to cry out for HIM to help them or to address their own continual dysfunctions

6. People who smile in my face but don’t realize I know what they really feel about me cause I heard it through the grapevine LOL

and there’s more but hey none of us have all day to read that list…

Why I Continue To Do What I Do?

1. There are people who do care (even if that is a minority) and are changed by the programs, sermons, events that God inspires me to do for THEM

2. I know God purposed in me to be an encourager, equipper and educator of people and by some of the testimonies I have heard throughout the years, I’ve made a difference blessed be the name of the Lord

3. I love building things from nothing to something or from something to something greater

4. I know I would not be content doing anything else–worshipping God by utilizing the gifts He has given me brings life to me.

5. I honor God with my life when I work with the Trinity to bring another soul to the Kingdom or re-connect with their Abba

Earlier today I was sharing with a little sister in the faith how important thick skin is in the ministry business. Another fact I’ve learned throughout my years in ministry in various environments is simply choose your friends slowly and carefully and do the same for your leaders. Proverbs 25:19 states “putting confidence in an unreliable person in times of trouble is like chewing with a broken tooth or walking on a lame foot.”

I think what keeps me from altogether walking away from everything is my support team. Bill George in the book True North shares the following:

“Leaders do not succeed on their own. The loneliness of leadership has been well documented, but the remedies have not. Everyone has insecurities; some are just more open about them than others. Even the most outwardly assured executives need support and appreciation. Authentic leaders build support teams that will counsel them in times of uncertainty, be there in times of difficulty, and celebrate with them in times of success. Strong support teams provide affirmation, advice, perspective, calls for course corrections when needed, and, above all, love. After their hardest days, leaders find comfort in being with people on whom they can rely so they can be open and vulnerable. During the low points, they cherish the friends who appreciate them for WHO they are, not WHAT they are.”

So that’s it my friends, when I want to quit because I feel nobody cares (ala the movie Bronx Tale), I don’t because aside from my GOD who always has my back, I have a great support team who is around me holding me up singing the song to me that I have forgotten to sing and bottomline I’ve seen the hand of the Lord at work in the things I’ve done and it blesses my heart when someone “gets it” with the Lord.

Tip: Encourage a leader you know in your circles. They need to know that want they are doing, the time they are sacrificing doing the things that you don’t even know is being done so things look so great you think it “just happened” –was appreciated. They already know it was “worth it” for the Father. But its nice once in a blue moon, hell freezes over world, that someone, somewhere noticed. Will you be a noticer? It’s important because somewhere someone in leadership wants to quit.

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by Erma Bombeck - (written after she found out she was dying from cancer)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.” There would have been more “I love you’s.” More “I’m sorry’s.”

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it .. live it .and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.

Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let’s think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally. I hope you all have a blessed day.

Believe it or not, I still don’t feel like I’ve achieved a lot in life. Don’t get me wrong I am grateful for what I have done, what I have and what my life looks like right now but as I look back I realize many times in my life I had to tune ‘em out.  Not feeling like I have ‘arrived’ keeps me from getting comfortable. Not feeling like I’ve reached the pinnacle of my life keeps me focused on the many  dreams still inside me and able to tune ‘em out.

Right now I have a few dreams still left in me and since I am still breathing I guess God wants me around. However just like Joseph had his brothers trying to kill him and his dreams, we have a lot of people in our lives whether they are close or close enough that want to be dream killers as well.

These people can be found everywhere. At your job, at school, in your dance class, at the gym, in your family and in your church. It reminds me of a story I read about Martin Luther King Jr. once that stated that when he was at Morehouse College in Atlanta, GA one of his “speech” professors marked up one of his speeches with a note, it said “Martin, if you continue to use such lofty words and flamboyant language, you will never be very effective in public speaking.” Ha! I wonder where that professor was when MLK Jr. gave his “I Have A Dream” speech. Martin had learned a lesson from all the naysayers in his life, he learned to tune ‘em out.

There are people right now you need to tune out. Now don’t get me wrong. Not every dream is a God dream. It could be a good dream but not a God dream. And not every dream is achievable because you are doing absolutely NOTHING to change your circumstances. You are still doing the same thing (s) day after day, you are still failing your classes, you have been in “school” for like 10 years and still don’t even have that AA to show for your time there, you still carry that muffin top everywhere you go (this is for me J) yet somehow you expect things to be “different” and your dream to come to pass.

Honey, it don’t work that way. You have to put sweat equity into ANY dream. Things will not fall on your lap. But rest assured as soon as you make up your mind to work hard on any dream there “they” come, the ones who say you will never be able to do it, the ones who say they care about you and even love you but won’t even help you make it in your new business by becoming a customer and trying out whatever it is that you are offering. They exist everywhere and yes they even come with a God bless you tag line. Tune ‘em out!

I don’t care if you have been trying to lose weight for years now (again talking to myself), I don’t care if you thought you could never ever go back to school and get that degree, I don’t care if you tell me that no one in your family has EVER amounted to much, tomorrow can be a new day, you don’t have to listen to the biggest enemy of our souls and dream stealer Satan and you most certainly don’t have to listen to other people who are in just as big of a mess as you are. Why is it that we so quickly accept the negative and listen to the advice of people who have never achieved anything in life, yet never look to someone who has made it despite great obstacles and pain. Whether they have the material wealth to show for it or the spiritual health to show for their journey in success, wouldn’t you rather hear the advice of people who have gone before you and made it. I’m tellin’ you, all those naysayers and dream killers around you need to be tuned out!

And don’t go feeling sorry for anyone you’ve tuned out either. Don’t go getting all Christianese on me saying that a “good Christian” doesn’t tune people out. You have to tune people out if you expect to make it as a Christian, as a good wife or husband, as a good businessman/woman, anything. I don’t know who this is for, maybe its just for me since as a pastor I often have to tune ‘em out so I don’t get discouraged on the journey. The ‘em will stay nameless to protect the very guilty J. Sister, brother, go after your dreams-if you are still breathing…there is still time. Try again tomorrow and when those ill-speaking, dream killing, busy bodies enter your dream/faith zone, politely excuse yourself and tune ‘em out.

I came across this prayer guide as I was looking for resources for our prayer team. I think everyone could utilize this.

Got problems in your church, then pray, have a great pastor? Then pray more…

Do you desire to fire your pastor? Perhaps you should fire them up instead! Do you want to leave your church? Perhaps you should be the one to build it up! 

The best way to build your church and fire up your pastor is to be involved and pray for them constantly and continually! If you really what to put your faith where it is needed the most, commit yourself to support your Church and Pastoral Staff, and realize that God loves us all, and we are still in His Hands. Pastors and church leaders face many opportunities and challenges each day. They balance the stresses of ministry while they are researching and writing the sermons, managing the affairs of the church, going to countless meetings and counseling others significant problems. They wear many hats as the pastor, priest, counselor, preacher, teacher, manager, organizer, visionary, administrator and janitor all rolled into one with little to no free time. As well as dealing with the stresses of modern life with their family all under personal attack and usually doing life with a lower salary and an ungrateful congregation who expects them to be perfect. They need your help, they need your prayers! When we commit ourselves to pray for our pastors and church leaders, we will have no need to bicker, gossip, slander, withdraw, place blame, or seek to usurp our will as God’s (Rom. 8:28, 8:33-34, 37-39). For our confidence in the fact Christ is our Sovereign Shepherd and He is in complete control of our church and staff, we are in His Hands and all will work out. Our pastors and leaders are here to serve, but they need our prayers and support to make this work! When we pray and come together tighter, we will have no need to fear or stress or remain in our hurts. We can come together triumphantly as a caring, loving community powerfully for His glory impacting our community (Isa. 6:1-12; Gal. 5:22-23; 1 Pet. 3:12)!  Praying for your church is like filling a balloon with helium, the more it is filled, the more it will soar and not sore! For us to grow not just numerically, but in what is much more important, spiritually and in community to one another, requires our discipline and passion to pursue Christ more and ourselves less. We have to grow in Christ in a cherished, intimate growing relationship with Him as LORD over all and LORD over us. We are called to become purpose driven with His purpose at our helm of leadership and lives so that our trust and intimacy is rooted in Him and not in our personal ideas or distractions (1 Chron. 16:11; John 3:30;Eph. 6:16; Col. 2:6-8).  

Use this prayer guide to pray daily for your church. Take one point each day of every month, and as you grow more in your discipline of prayer, double up by taking two or more.  First, praise God and thank Him for His blessings and goodness in all He has bestowed, even if you do not feel or see them. Remember your walk with Christ is all about Him working in and through us so your faith and love flourishes!  

Day 1.    Pray that we realize that our inheritance and hope as a church family is in God’s incomparable and incredible great power which is available to us (Gal. 1:12; Eph. 1:18-19; Phil. 3:10).  Day 2.    Pray that our Church, Leadership and Pastoral Staff becomes more surrendered and poured out to Christ, so they can have spiritual breakthroughs by seeking the fear of God and the mind of Christ and the Spirit’s leading (1 Cor. 2:16; Gal. 2:20-21).  

Day 3.    Pray that your Church and Pastor have and continue to take hold a growing, consistent walk with Christ with a devotional life and prayer that is steadfast. Pray that they realize and allow Christ to work and use them as they grow closer in their faith, spiritual formation, maturity and love (Psalm 16:8-11; 73:28; Rom. 8:31; 2 Pet. 1:5-7).   Day 4.    Pray that all of the leadership exhibit good Christian character and integrity with all of their relationships and dealings in life (Micah 6:8).  

Day 5.    Pray that your Church leaders and Pastors families will be cared for and respected and receive good consideration, so they can to grow too, as they are usually misunderstood, under-appreciated, and ignored or overworked. Pray that all the staff be committed to their families with authentic love and care, that they will be strong and learn in the midst of trials, their homes a refuge and haven of rest and not be condescending or withdrawing from their own families (Psalm 91:9-15; Phil. 4:19; 1 Peter 2:23).   Day 6.    Pray for discernment in exposing any plans of the enemy against our Church or attacking our pastors and staff. Ask Christ to protect us as we wage spiritual warfare against the enemy on behalf of our Church (Eph. 6:11-12, 16; Col. 2:6-8; 1 Pet. 3:12). 

Day 7.     Pray for an increase of vitality, renewal and vision that is from God for the pastors and leaders personally and collectively so that the church can be galvanized then take a hold of, and then be revitalized as a caring committed community for His Kingdom and purpose (Isa. 61:3; Rom. 12). Day 8.    Pray for the willingness and ability to authentically confess and repent of any wrong doing, false dependencies, misplaced ideas and loss of spiritual passion (Luke 13:1-3; Acts 2:38-39; Rev. 2:5-6).  

Day 9.    Pray that you and your church commits to follow the biblical mandate to support and encourage the leadership of the church (Eph. 4:11-13; 1 Tim. 5:17-18; 1 Pet. 5:1-2).  Day 10.  Pray against gossip, negative criticism, false expectations, unhealthy burdens, strife and weariness that will seek to invade our church family (Psalm 91:5-6, 11; Luke 10:19; Eph. 4: 17, 32-5:1).  

Day 11.  Pray that your church be a community of grace and forgiveness. That your church has an atmosphere of encouragement by being grateful for Christ’s work in them that enables the congregation to be inspired to give genuine hospitality to all who comes though your doors (Rom. 15:4-6; 2 Thess. 2:16-17).  Day 12.  Pray that your church commits to a healthy understanding, wisdom and accounting and handling of its stewardship and Finances to better receive God’s blessings (Prov. 3:9-10; 1 Cor. 9:15-18).  

Day 13.  Pray that your Church and Pastor will have the strength and endurance that they need to serve with excellence by the power of the Spirit and the support of the congregation (Philippians 4:13). Day 14.  Pray for healing, forgiveness and reconciliation for any misplaced expectations, criticism, ungrateful attitudes, flawed thinking, grief, hurts, and abuse (Isa. 61:3; Mark 11:22-24, 2 Cor. 10:3-5; Eph. 4:32-5:1; Phil. 4:19). 

Day 15.  Pray that your church would receive God’s direction and vision. That the congregation gets nourished from the substance of His Word and the needs of the congregation are met (Psalm 119:9-12; Matt. 18:20).  Day 16.  Pray that our church becomes real authentic disciples of Christ who are learning, growing and making Fruit and in turn making more disciples (Prov. 19:23; Mal. 3:11; Matt. 28:18-20; John. 15:16; Gal. 5:22-23) 

Day 17.  Pray that the spirit and practice of Humility is utilized and practiced in and outside of your church, and that false humility does not take root (1 Pet. 5:5-7).  Day 18.  Pray that pride does not set in with our Leadership and Pastoral Staff (Psalm 10:4; Prov. 8:13).  

Day 19.  Pray that our church commits to place our focus on the Supremacy of Christ and be dependant upon Him (Gal. 6:14; Col. 1: 15-17)!  Day 20.  Pray that our Church and Pastor give real biblical help and Counseling from God’s wisdom and Word to those in need (Isaiah 61:3).  

Day 21.  Pray that our church family will give Christ real authentic adoration, praise, impassioned worship and glory in private and collectively as a Church. That worship is never to be a show, entertainment or talent focused, rather God is the audience to our praise (Gal. 6:14).  Day 22.  Pray that our Church and Pastor take accountability seriously and each be protected and have people they are accountable too. Also, that each would cultivate and pursue healthy relationships (Gal. 6: 1-10; Eph. 5:21).  

Day 23.  Pray that the Word of God will never be compromised, cheapened or dumped down; rather be delivered in confidence with power, conviction, clarity, boldness, with love and in truth (Acts 6:4; Col. 1:28; 1 Tim. 2:1-2; 2 Tim. 2:15).  Day 24.  Pray for discernment to seek God’s leading and direction for the leaders and pastoral staff, that they seek His ways and not trends, traditions, personal agendas or anything that is not from the Spirit and Word. Pray that they can discern and prioritize what is important and precious and what is not (Isa. 6; 2 Cor. 11:14; 2 Tim. 3:5; 1 John. 4:1; Rev. 4). 

Day 25.  Pray that God protects our Church, Leadership and Pastoral Staff from sin and misdirection and they have the wiliness and boldness to flee and confront sin (Prov. 19:23; 1 Pet. 1:16). Day 26.  Pray we all draw near to Christ and seek holiness and His presence with more prayer (Acts 1:14; 1 Thess. 5:17; Jas. 4:7-8). 

Day 27.  Pray that we as a church family remain faithful and good stewards, so the financial needs are met (Psalm. 91:15-16; Phil. 4:19). Day 28.  Pray that negative thinking, stress, being overwhelmed, the ways of the world, the tyranny of the urgent, being overcommitted, over busyness, fatigue, compromise, pressures, overworked, under-appreciated, misunderstandings, and stress to not get in our Spiritual Home and take over (John 14:1; Acts 6:2-4; 2 Cor. 10:3-5; Eph. 4:17).  

Day 29.  Pray that Unity infuses your church so that your congregation is binding to Christ in love so the work of the Kingdom is promoted (2 Chron. 30:12; Psalm 133:1; Rom. 15:5). Day 30.  Pray that congregation is willing and able to come and support the church and staff with grateful hands and words. That you all realize that the pastors and leadership are necessary and called and accountable to God (Matt. 9:37; Acts 14; 1 Tim. 3:1-7, 10-15; 5:22-23).  

Day 31.  Pray that our church community commits to pray for our church, pastors, staff, missionaries, those in need, community and issues powerfully every day (Acts 1:14;16:16;1 Thess. 5:17).  It is God’s call for all of us to Pray for our Church and Pastor! Print this out and pass it to those in your congregation and watch your church grow closer to Christ!

© 1989, 2005 Dr. R.J. Krejcir Into Thy Word Ministries

Have you been branded F. Failure? Worse have you branded yourself one?

Be aware that many experiences may initially brand you as a “failure.”  

Like I’ve posted here before, I’ve failed. But I’m also better for it. It’s interesting that often those labeled as “failures” go on to accomplish unusual success. Here are some recognizable “failures:”

• Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he succeeded.
• R. H. Macy failed seven times before his store in New York City caught on.
• Daniel Boone was once asked by a reporter if he had ever been lost in the wilderness.  Boone thought a moment and then replied, “No, but I was once bewildered for about three days.”
• Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.  He later observed, “I’ve failed over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed.”
• The first time Jerry Seinfeld walked out on stage at a comedy club as a professional comic, he looked out at the audience, froze, and totally forgot how to talk.  He stumbled through “a minute and a half” of material and was booed off the stage.
• Winston Churchill failed the 6 grade.
• Steven Spielberg dropped out of high school in his sophomore year.  He was persuaded to come back and placed in a learning disabled class.  He lasted a month and dropped out of school forever.
• In 1954 the manager of the Grand Ole Opry fired Elvis Presley after one performance.  He told Presley, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere, son.  You ought to go back to drivin’ a truck.”
• 33 publishers rejected the first Chicken Soup for the Soul. The authors were repeatedly told that no one wanted to read those sappy little stories. Those sappy little stories have now sold over 80 million copies.
• Moses “failed” at being the prince’s son — ran off for 40 years — learned some better relationship skills and came back to deliver an entire nation.
• Joseph “failed” on several occasions, ended up in prison, and then rose to fame and power.

Ok now I am dating myself but I used to love to watch Charlie Brown on TV. Here’s a lesson from good ole’ Charlie…Don’t be like him in how you respond to failure.  In one segment, he had just built a beautiful sand castle.  As soon as he stood back to admire his masterpiece, it gets flattened by a huge wave.  Staring at the now smooth spot where his day’s work had been moments before, he says, “There must be a lesson here, but I don’t know what it is.” Learn from your failure.  See it as a stepping stone toward the success you ultimately want.  Don’t accuse God of blocking you — read James 1:2-4.  

“Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”  James 1: 2-4 (HCSB)  

Reflection:

Remember a “Joseph” time in your life when you felt like you were banished to prison only to realize later that the experience was an important part of your preparation.

No Sis, you are not a Brand F. You are a brand new U because of your experiences whether they worked out or not. It really is all good!