Father’s day for a long time was a sad day for me. You see my dad left my mom when I was 2. She suddenly came home after a hard day’s work to find herself cleaned out of furniture with a 2 year old to care for. Yeah, my biological dad was a heck of a guy. Just so you know he was also a “Christian” who by day was a barber by trade and by night was a preacher. Somewhere along his journey he got into drinking and would abuse my mom. She still has a slash on her arm from one of his barber’s tools. Like I said, heck of a guy. Years later, I heard he was in Puerto Rico working for a Christian organization called Hogar Crea which rehabilitates people who are substance abusers. I also heard he remarried and I even got to see a picture of my half sister who looks remarkably alot like me. But I never again reconnected with him. As far as I know Elizier Delgado is dead. Father’s day for a very long time was a sad day for me for I never really got to know the love of a dad. That was until…

I met Jesus. Wow, what incredible love and to know that nothing would separate me from his love, that nothing I could do could make Him love me less. That was a love that still intoxicates me till this day. A little of what that love is like is documented in this presentation of “A Father’s Love Letter”. The great thing about our heavenly dad is that He is not like my dad. Maybe your dad is/was great and I rejoice with you. But if I had to accept God’s love for me based on my own personal experiences, I would have had a hard time (note: that is why preachers need to include this reality when they preach, not everyone loves their dad, had a great dad, or even had dad around). An article that takes this further is here.

But of course, I don’t want to end this post on a sour note! I want to celebrate my man, my honey, Hiram. When I walked down the aisle with this man, I knew he would be a great dad. What I wasn’t prepared for, what I didn’t expect was that he was be an exceptional one. I wrote this article in 2005 about being a dad versus being a father, I want to post it here because it still says what I want it to say. My husband is both dad and father. Not all Latino fathers fit the stereotype. I am so grateful to God for the man I have. What I never had, my children do and for that I give all the glory to God and all my love to my husband.

I don’t know about you but I loved Facing the Giants! Well now the makers of that movie are coming out with a new one to help marriages stay strong. I got an invitation to go see a private screening in Miami in July. Just seeing the trailer I know its going to be a good one. But then again, I LOVE THIS KIND OF STUFF.

This movie is needed in a big way but more so, discussions among husbands and wives are needed! I just recently learned about another Christian married couple who have gone their separate ways, it hurts me to hear things like that. Like I’ve said before, temptation is something that we all face. Liar! I say to the one that says they have never been tempted. The reality is that this is going to get worse due to the way things are in our culture. Marriage takes work, it takes discussion, it takes compromise and sacrifice. I’ve found personally that it works better when the individuals in the marriage come to terms with who “they” really are and have done the work on themselves, so they can be their personal best. How do we expect unhealthy individuals (and I’m not talking physically here) to have healthy marriages. I could talk about this topic for days. So I won’t, but check out the videos below. Especially the song for the movie, “Slow Fade,” it says ALOT!

My son Sam has had a fascination with eschatology lately since his New Testament readings have had alot of prophetic messages about the last days. So to help him visualize some of these events, I ordered some movies from this place. I have a list of them some of them like the ones we watched today go back to when I was 11!! I remember watching A Thief in the Night and A Thief in the Night II-Distant Thunder on 8th Street and Ave D in Manhattan during some church’s street evangelism effort. It was powerful then for an 11 year old and even though it was very outdated in terms of looks, phones, sound, etc. my son was moved to ask to accept Jesus as his personal savior today! He had said this prayer before but today was different. He really understood what Jesus did for us and how hard it will be to be a believer after the rapture (yes I am a pre-tribulation believer), we all cried together as he repeated the prayer his daddy led him with today.

That’s not all…he started asking questions about is being saved about being a good person, not lying, etc and we said when you want to walk like Jesus you want to follow what he did and what he said we should do as disciples, so then he said, “oh so being good is like extra credit!” We had a laugh with that one.

This Sunday, I will be with my man a t0tal of 20 years people! 18 years on paper as a legally married couple, 1 year dating, 1 year engaged! Wow. I can’t even believe we’ve made it this far with so much working against marriages one does have to celebrate every year they make another anniversary.

We celebrated this past Friday from the a.m. to the p.m. –it was an OMG kind of day but we ended it with a historic concert in Miami’s James L. Knight Center with Willie Colon, Cheo Feliciano and Ismael Miranda. The highlight for me was hearing Cheo Feliciano sing “Amada Mia.” Let me tell you, ladies were cryin’, swooning and well, just plain old fainting. My hubby dedicated this song to me a while ago and it has always been special but hearing it live by the man himself was a great ending to our 18 year anniversary.

Here is a video of the song: (this is when you wish you knew Spanish folks!)

So how did we last so long?

I have to first say that I think there is no clone to my man. He is just one heck of guy, God was totally thinking about me when he created Hiram. Now don’t get me wrong, he isn’t perfect (almost but not quite) and we almost walked away from it a few years ago due to a momentary lapse of judgement or outright insanity on his part BUT GOD intervened and well, as I said, 18 years people this Sunday!

So I proceed…we have lasted this long because we agree on some fundamentals like:

a. The grass always looks greener on the other side - but those who venture to the other side soon find that the fantasy was just that and reality sucketh but once you go to the other side there may not be anyone or anything waiting for you to come back. Lesson: Acknowledge that nothing is ever what it seems.

b. Temptation is there but actions don’t need to follow - So I say this respectfully to all who read this, eventually at some point in your marriage you will be tempted by a member of the opposite sex. Women have to be certifiably dumb to think that a man, their man, will never be attracted to another woman. That is just not the truth, they have eyes don’t they? And you know what, if you live in South Florida (and maybe other places as well in the summer) women are just walking naked adding more fuel to the lust fire. (I acknowledge this goes both ways as women also get tempted by males). HOWEVER, no action needs to follow the temptation. Period. As soon as it comes, run like hell. It’s biblical (see Joseph and Potiphar’s wife GENESIS CHAPTER 39:6-12). Lesson: Don’t be a fool! No one is exempt from temptation but God always provides a way out for you!

c. Keep it burning, keep it hot.  Christian women can be passionate. Christian women can turn the heat up a notch in the romance department with their hubbies and yeah, vice versa. Find out what it is that pushes the buttons for your spouse and try it. Lesson: If the fire ain’t burning one of you needs to light the match again!

d. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate! If there is anyone you should be talking to about everything, its your spouse. What you like, hate, wish for, dream of, you get the picture. If you don’t know how, read a book, go to therapy but take a proactive step because half the battle in a marriage is communication. Couples usually wait too long and by that time the marriage is at a point where God needs to do a miracle (which he can, he did in mine!) to get back on track. So don’t wait, communicate! Lesson: No one reads minds, so start talking.

I know I don’t post nearly as much as I should on enough “interesting” things. Seems I only have enough brain power to post what is happening in my life and not much more thought into anything else. It is what it is at this point.

Let me share some stuff with ya’ll:

* I am leaving to NYC tomorrow morning. Hoping the weather is good to me. I HATE the cold. I am truly FLORIDIAN.

* Hiram and the Porn Pastor-My church had Craig Gross from XXXChurch.com this past Sunday. Hiram was his liaison or in some circles its called “Armor Bearer”. I wish more people would have come out to hear the message but we had a pretty good turnout and the message was clear. Very down-to-earth dude.

I want to share this poem which is part of a book called Poetry for Young People based on Langston Hughes’ poetry. Poetry is something I added to the curriculum I do with my son. He’s learned about different kinds of poems thus far…narrative, lyrical, nonsense verses, and haiku. This poem is scheduled to be discussed when I return from NYC. I can’t wait to get his thoughts on it.

Mother to Son

Well, son, I’ll tell you:

Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

It’s had tacks in it,

And splinters,

And boards torn up,

And places with no carpet on the floor–

Bare.

But all the time

I’se been a-climbin’ on,

And reachin’ landin’s,

And turnin’ corners,

And sometimes goin’ in the dark

Where there ain’t been no light.

So boy, don’t you turn back.

Don’t you set down on the steps

‘Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.

Don’t you fall now–

For I’se still goin’ honey,

I’se still climbin’,

And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

They say when you teach you learn twice. I have to say I am learning so much

We are officially back from vacation location but not necessarily from vacation mode.  Why is it that the U.S. is the only country that provide such cheesy vacation policies. Other countries get a lot more than U.S. workers do read about that here.  Since I don’t have an “employee” role and both my sons don’t have a traditional school we can take vacation at any time but really what is a vacation without Papi! We usually take his two weeks plus one “unpaid” for a total of three weeks vacation TOGETHER.  I also have been known to go away for a weekend or so with my girlfriends.

I actually “tried” to have a working vacation because so many things are going on for me but in the Keys they don’t believe in that! It was hard for me to find a wifi anywhere…we finally found one and I was able to return some emails but for the most part it was a workless just veg and burn vacation. Island Dolphin Care where we played with our assigned dolphin “Fiji” all week was such a precious trip. We want to go there every year once a year (we are thinking of how we can stay in the Keys a month in the summer), the therapy for DJ was awesome and his brother, Sam got to “play” with DJ more at this place than ever in DJ’s 8 years of existence. It was such a blessing.

Here are some pics of our time away (click on pic for better view)… 

Sam with the Marine Water Tank

Sam gets a kiss from Fiji “our” dolphin for the week

Me and DJ giving dolphin “Fiji” a wash

Fiji gives me a birthday kiss

Fiji says Hi to DJ!

Anyway, enough about vacations, we are back to reality now.

We are officially on vacation and we go to our Florida Keys destination Sunday. In between I have to try to finish one overdue article for PRISM, two entries for a Latino History encyclopedia edited by Dr. Miguel de la Torre and a Theology News and Notes article for Dr. Ryan Bolger all of which were due by March 31st! And mind you, this is not including the book proposal I owe my agent!

I was telling my husband I NEED this vacation for a myriad of reasons. The most likely culprit of my brain exhaust is the homeschooling adventure I am on, while I am most definitely prepping for “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?,” I am totally spent by days end. Don’t get me wrong. I am loving this but it is definitely a hands-on, get in the mix role and it isn’t for everyone. I have learned my son’s strengths and his weak areas. 

In addition, after my dissertation process I just can’t seem to get into much that will require 100% brain power. Don’t laugh. I’m getting worried. I am also working on a few consulting projects. So yeah, I am sooooooooooooo looking forward to the Keys.

Sam and Hiram went to the Miami Heat game tonight. Sam got to watch the Heat practice and he even got a pic with Kenya, a Miami Heat cheerleader. Yeah, they were that close and yeah, God’s been good to them. They had a great time!

• It has been said…

naction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. (Dale Carnegie)I am shy. Ok maybe not as shy as some people but nevertheless I am a forced extrovert versus a true introvert. I have fears just like anyone else. I am afraid to do things I’ve never done and I don’t have the courage anymore to get on rides at amusement parks. But perhaps my biggest fear is God doing something in my life that is so big that I don’t know what to do with it. The fear is not in “the big thing happening,” it’s in the not knowing what to do with the big thing, you get me? God has done some pretty big things in my life in the last 8 years. Sure, there was one thing I was really hoping would have turned out better than it did but I still believe God worked everything out perfectly. I will tell you about that in a few lines below.

he busy man is troubled with but one devil; the idle man by a thousand (Spanish Proverb) I truly believe this which is why I am so excited about a special event my church is doing come April 20, 2008. This is something Grace Fellowship (the church plant I was a part of) wanted to do in this area. We never got to do it for various reasons but hey God goes and puts us in a church where the leaders have the same heart and the same guts to do it. I can’t announce it just yet but by Sunday I should be able to announce it. But this thing I have to announce has a lot to do with “idle men” and the devil who keeps them busy doing uh, something that is well, a dirty little secret.

L et the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.” (H. Jackson Brown)This is pretty much what I am doing folks! But not only busy refining and improving my own life but the life of my family. From a full-time busy career professional to a full-time everything else! I am still making p/t monies but am also using reflection time (you know those times right…like bathroom breaks, laundry time, everyone in the house is asleep time) to refine and improve my own life and make decisions that will do the same for my familia. So in that regard, I don’t have time to be on top of anyone. I like that. More people should be this busy don’t you think? Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. (Henry David Thoreau)I hope so. I want to be successful no, not the I will be rich beyond anyone’s imagination successful. The successful that matters.

• The kind of successful that makes God proud to call me “daughter”

• The kind of successful that makes my husband smile every day he comes home from work.

•  The kind of successful that my son will grow up to say “I hope my girlfriend can learn a few things from my mom!”

•   The kind of successful that keeps promises.

• The kind of successful where reputation matches character.

• The kind of successful that achieves personal purpose!

Success in God’s eyes does not depend on making a lot of money or making it to the top in your career. Success in God’s eyes is found by fulfilling God’s purpose for your life. It’s OK to want to have that kind of success in life and even pray for it. NIV Psalm 118:25 O LORD, save us; O LORD, grant us success. Yet there will be times in each of our lives when we fail. There will be times when you feel like giving up. Every successful person in the Bible had times when felt discouraged, when they had failed, when they had not lived up to God’s standard. The important thing is not to give up when you fail. Failure for the believer is not the end, but an opportunity to find a fresh start from God. I have to say that I was pretty bummed with our church plant didn’t go the way we planned. But in our hearts we know that when we left that behind, God had another plan. We still believe in our call. We still believe in God’s promise over our lives but maybe he has another way of fulfilling this. But God used everything in our lives up until this point to show us that pain points you to purpose and all the setbacks we faced were setups for something we could not or dare I say, never would have imagined.

NIV Proverbs 24:16 Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity. The point of this verse is not that the righteous man never falls, but that the righteous man rises again, he comes backThis verse is the premise for the book I am writing about getting back up again! My Rebound Coach ministry is all about believing that you can get back up no matter how many times you’ve failed or fallen. We Christians don’t do such a good job at helping people get back up again. Oh, sure, we are super great at pointing fingers, laughing, and criticizing even waiting in the sidelines hoping for failure.  Well, God used all my failures, all my pain, all my heartache and tears to give me a deep desire to help another sistah up. I just sent out emails to everyone I know about a new seminar I am going around doing called Scarred but Still Standing: Thriving When Life Hands You Lemons! It is based on the book I am writing and hopefully soon getting into the hands of my agent who has not bugged me at all about it (she’s super Rachelle!). I don’t want to waste my pain. My purpose is to help others find their purpose through their pain, setbacks and struggles. Why? Because the righteous get back up again!!! Period. Add to that, the fact that God has done some pretty great things in my life as I mentioned in the beginning of this post and you could get a little picture as to why the heck I am about to leave my comfort zone to go out and speak wherever someone would hear me.  Let me count the ways God has been great TO ME…

•       He saved me

•        He restored me

•         He was patient with me when I lost my faith

•     He didn’t zap me out of existence when I questioned everything about his existence

•       He gave me a really great guy for a husband, not perfect, “A little broken but still good” as the Stitch declared in the end of the Lilo and Stitch movie

•       He allowed me to have one healthy son who is smart and sassy and going on 40!

•         He kept me sane when I went through 28 surgeries with my youngest son

•         He gave me more time with my youngest son DJ after he almost died on me in May 2007 Mother’s day!!

•     He saved my marriage in 2001 and helped me not kill anyone involved in the drama.

•        He touched the incompetents at that hospital in NY and we won the lawsuit!

•     He lead us to the most perfect house for us after losing what we thought was the most perfect house for us while we were in the hospital that May 2007!

•         He continues to provide for me even though I don’t work full-time

Yes, people I am scarred but still standing! And the lemons of life have yet to take this girl out. I ain’t scared anymore. I know who has my back. Do you?

My son has been learning about Christopher Columbus, his ships, the Spaniards, their treatment of Indians, most of the tribes of North American Indians…. so when Matt mentioned he took Janie’s (his wife’s) nephew over to Miccosukee Indian Village, I had to make that part of our Field Day Friday. We drove deep into the Everglades, four years here and we had never ventured “there”.  It was kind of empty and some “demonstrators” didn’t show up for work today” but we did get to see the Alligator show by a part Cherokee indian, met a not too friendly Mayan Indian woman who was making bead bracelets, met a half Irish/Chickasaw Indian woman who made me “fry bread” (yes really healthy!). We didn’t do the air boat thing as my son wasn’t having it. He kept thinking we’d fall in the water and be gator lunch. He wasn’t fond of that prospect. Here are some pics:

The “Fry Bread” kinda like a giant zepole or funnel cake!!!

Don’t try this at home!

Baby gator kiss below!