The CEFL Warring Women Weekend in NYC was absolutely incredible. God moved. Women were refreshed, restored, set free, committed to keep fighting and most importantly most determined to keep moving forward.

Pictures are up on my Facebook account and of course I’ll be putting some up on my CEFL website but I just am so grateful to God for His goodness this weekend.

If you went to the event, tell me what you thought?

Next month (August 27-28) I am hosting a Warring Women Weekend through my organization the Center for Emerging Female Leadership. The reason I feel God lead me to host this weekend is that we are losing ground in this invisible war we are in. Some people have forgotten that we are in one!The event is for women of all ages and in various levels of kingdom assignments. This event to me is probably one of the most important events I have ever put together. Obviously the reason is simple: the enemy of my soul YOUR soul does not want you to “get it” he doesn’t want you to get that you have a choice to make about not just whether you will serve him but how you will serve him! I am mad right now. Not mad at you but mad at the enemy because he is just having way too much fun destroying men and women of God!

Leaders, especially beware. Don’t think you ever “got this!” I was reading through I & II Samuel last week and two thoughts hit me HARD enough that I got out of my hiatus in writing to blog about it, and it is this:#1 – The Enemy Will Always Come After The Leader! God hit me in the face with this truth in I Samuel 31:1-3 (where the enemy came after Saul) and II Samuel 5:11 (where the enemy came after David.)  In both instances the enemy came hard after the leader because they knew…take out the leader and you can stop the movement!Here is a truth about every leader you know in church world…we are all under an intense amount of spiritual attack.  And…the larger the ministry grows the larger the target on his or her back!

I’ve had leaders talk to me about this in the past as if they were surprised!  The false mentality that seems to exist is that the higher we climb on the leadership ladder the less temptation we will face. Uh no! NOTHING could be further from the truth. How many men and women of God do we know who have succumbed to the great liar!

David was at the top of his game when the enemy came after him and took him down with an affair. Elijah had just accomplished one of the greatest victories he had ever seen in his life–then Jezebel sent word that SHE was coming after him (and he freaked out…many times as leaders we lose perspective when under attack!) 

In my church we just started a new sermon series called “The Heat Is On” and I told the church, the heat is going to go hotter. The intensity of this war is going to get heavier. I am not saying this to scare anyone–heck…it’s a fact of life. There was a chant I would sing with my sorority sisters in college and it used to go like this “It’s hot in here, It’s hot in here, it must be the Delta’s in the atmosphere” Well, I need to paraphrase that for our purposes right now and “it’s hot in here, it’s hot in here—it must be Satan in the atmosphere!”

Yeah, It’s on folks! War big time. Are you complacent?  So I was just reflecting on all this and asked myself how do we guard ourselves?I will tell you in a minute, but I wanted to get this out into the blogosphere not because I have many readers but because it is stirring up in my spirit. I am just like you, yes I am a leader, some would say I am well-regarded, others well LOL; yes I am a pastor and yes I have been serving the Lord for many years but and I want to clearly state this, I too get attacked and sometimes the heat is ridiculously on! Some of the things that pop into my head are crazy! Seems to me the devil works overtime with people who can help scatter other sheep away from the great shepherd. So I try real hard to not just walk away but “run” away from situations like Joseph did with Potifar’s wife!

So getting back to what we can do, here are some suggestions:

a – Consistent time with the Lord!  Find out what brings you close to Jesus and DO IT A LOT!

b – Memorizing Scripture – if Jesus defeated Satan three times by quoting Scripture then we should learn to do that as well! Do you think you’re better, cooler than Jesus? Huh, really?

c – Intense accountability – not some lame meeting with a group of guys/girls where you share popcorn and talk about what you are learning…but rather an invitation for people to “get in your face” and call you out when they see something unhealthy and destructive. I have a group of 3 women I love and we have journeyed together for about 10 years. Truth is we haven’t met much like we used to because one is still in NYC, the other two and I while living in the same State have very different schedules. But I miss the “in your face” meetings we would have. I have cried with them, yelled at them (in a nice kinda way) and vice versa but we grew and we grew a lot! I need to get that happening again and ASAP, those ladies helped me look at the ME I didn’t want to be and the ME I was becoming. What an awesome group to have. I encourage you to get one going. But you have to be committed to being called out as well as calling someone out. If not, don’t waste your time!

d – Becoming a FREAK about personal integrity – no one knows your thoughts, feeling and struggles but you…and YOU are the only person who can establish correct boundaries for your personal integrity.  If you don’t make integrity a priority then it will fall by the wayside as important…which makes you ONE stupid decision away from losing what it may have taken YEARS to build. As the old saying goes “It takes years to build a good reputation and only a second to lose it” so please don’t be a knucklehead and guard yourself!The enemy IS coming after us…which should not cause us to fear but rather to FOCUS more on Jesus… WE WIN because JESUS wins…HE IS IN US!!!  Isaiah 54:17!!! And remember what the enemy shows us is never real, it is always an optical illusion. So don’t fall for it folks. It is NOT what it looks like. We got to learn to take our authority and kick satan right in the cojones!

#2 – The Enemy Will Always Come After The Leaders Family

Once again, take a look at I Samuel 31:1-3…and notice that the enemy first killed Saul’s sons before they got to him!

DANG! Why they gotta mess with our families!

Church leader…here is a fact…the enemy IS coming after your marriage! He did it to me exactly this month (July) ten years ago! My 20 year marriage is a miracle. I could have ended up being only a 10 year marriage.  The enemy has a plan, do you have one? His plan is for you to:

• Take your marriage for granted
• God will lift you up higher if you keep ignoring your marriage.
• Have high expectations of them but they better not have any expectations of you
• Be a Jesus freak at church but God forbid you mention Jesus at home.
• Take most of your time investing in this grand ministry of yours but not give any time to investing a god’s vision for your marriage.

AND…trust me…he WILL come after your spouse! What better way to break your heart than to have the person who has your heart break it for him. And if that doesn’t work he will go after his/her health and go down the line from there. Your spouse is a target…and that is why we must LOVE THEM and LEAD THEM through this minefield!  If we think our spouse is immune to this we are idiots!  When we are married the two become one…period!

Question…what steps are you taking to SHOW your spouse that they are important to you…and you will do whatever it takes to love and protect them.  (Date nights, back rubs with NO strings attached, conversations about what they are reading in Scripture, etc.) I’m sorry but this is a hot button for me not just because I have experienced it but because as a pastor I see so much dysfunction in marriages and its in the homes of people who profess God is a God who can do anything. But why aren’t we letting him? Why aren’t we doing our parts to work our marriages and not give the devil a foothold?

AND…church leaders…the enemy is coming after your kids…UNFORTUNATELY many pastors kids become “wild as hell” because they spend all of there time looking after every kid in the church except his own. My NUMBER ONE discipleship responsibility are my kids!  Yet the enemy will tempt me with…

• You’re tired…you can play with them tomorrow.
• Vacation time is coming, you can spend time with them there.

Every mom and dad  MUST take their children seriously…the enemy does!!! But Pastors and Leaders even more so… He IS coming after them…and so we must raise them to love Jesus and walk in victory…and then they can grow up and kick satan in the cojones…just like we did!!!

So you see, it’s a war folks and dang we need to get with it already. This is a conflict that won’t end until the Lord returns for His peeps. I pray God gives you the wisdom and grace to handle that dirty devil every day of your life. You can’t do this alone. AndI’m just sayin…cause I care!

I don’t know about you but I really dislike it when preachers go on and on about what “they” did. How they healed that kid, how they laid hands and someone’s foot grew out of a stump or whatever. I dislike it because if what they said is true (let’s be honest a lot of so-called faith healers or evangelists, revivalists, and all the other “ists” have been known to exaggerate uh just a bit) but again, if what they said happened, it wasn’t THEM it was a GOD thing. GOD does all the healing. When I hear a litany of “I did this” and “I did that” it reminds me of Satan before he was cast out of heaven due to his pride and his desire to be on the same level with God. So needless to say, I totally turn off when I hear a preacher like this.  I don’t know is this just me?

As I get older I realize more and more who I am, what I truly believe, who I want to be surrounded by, what type of church I want to be a part of and with that clarity comes choices and decisions that are hard to make because as you try to be true to the you God made you, decisions you make still affect other people. I have to wonder about the leaders who think these type of preachers are ok for the body of Christ. TBN has some great people on but it also has some people I have to change the channel on.

I feel like most of the Christian community is so easily impressed! Geesh its actually appalling to me that the people they are who-ha-ing about have learned the art of pulling on people’s emotional strings. You know what I am talking about…enter a church, it’s boring as heck, the preacher obviously didn’t prepare a good sermon and is winging it and then he/she tries to draw up some emotion and starts proclaiming the “Holy Spirit is Here…stop being so hard,” “you know you are going to hell, get up here right away and get right”, or some other extreme call.  People start falling, crying, etc. Could that be the Holy Spirit moving? Yeah, sure. But what gets me is that some people think that is the ONLY way God moves or that that is THE way to know if someone is anointed. Uh, not really. I could go on about this but I don’t want to get into a theological discourse on the subject, besides other people could do a much better job than me on this. If you are reading this and can add some perspective feel free to do so.

Now with all that said,  I do believe that the Holy Spirit works in spite of us (even me) but I guess I find it sickening all the people who “depend” on ministry jobs who are phony baloney. For example, it seems that some of  the 21st century pastors and  teachers don’t  believe Jesus got up, some don’t believe Jesus  can make a-way out of no-way nor do they believe He’s a healer either…In other words they don’t believe what they preach in the pulpits… That’s according to a recent study out of Tufts University….This study paints a less-than-attractive picture of the church. Sad but true. So all this to say…don’t be so impressed with a preacher just because they said ”they did this or that” and if you are that preacher…don’t be so impressed with yourself, who would you be without the POWER of Holy Spirit who is the one who actually DID DO “this and that”. Get over yourself.  I’m just sayin’

I look forward to your comments and any ideas for future issues. We realize that there are ALOT of women’s magazines out there but in future issues we want to focus on:

a. issues that women of color face

b. hot topics that aren’t discussed too much in church but are being talked about in society

c. how to be a better leader

So please comment away!

I am surely no expert but I walk alongside my sisters to fight this battle.  “One out of every 6 women struggle with an addiction to porn. (Today’s Christian Woman, Sept/Oct 2003). This is real and it impacts Christian leaders as well. We have already seen what it has done to some great men of God we looked up to

Anyway we start our introductory session tonight April 20^th but our first chapter review won’t be until next Tues, April 27^th so if you are in the SoFlo area, please come by and join the group of women who are taking this on! We expect to win second by second.

 BTW, the men are doing it too! Visit www.savethenations.com for more info.

“Don’t rush me, the hurrier I go the behinder I get” –a sign at a workstation

As a few of you have noticed (because I have rec’d your emails about me not blogging in a while), I haven’t had time to sit down and post a decent thought in months. Not because of lack of thinking (I do too much of that), not because of lack of opinion (I also have a boat full of opinions on a myriad of things) but simply because of time.  I am chock full busy. 

Why so busy? Well, I have a family…wife for 20 years, mother of two boys. I home-school my oldest son. I am an Executive Pastor at a three-year old church plant trying to organize, structure the church, motivate leaders, keep myself grounded spiritually. I am the chief visionary for the women’s organization I founded in 1996 www.celf.org and I work with a team of CEFL women to publish Soar Magazine.  Finally, I am a consultant for nonprofit organizations in organizational development and fundraising. I also promised myself and my mentor (Dr. Shirley Arnold) that by March 2011 my book would be done. BUT because I love what I do, there are many days that it doesn’t feel like “work” and on most days, I don’t sigh.

HOWEVER, in the book “Leaders Who Last” author, David Kraft quoted a Sunday newspaper that stated “we have lost the rhythm between action and rest. There is a universal refrain: I am so busy (oops I just said that in above paragraphs didn’t I?) As it all piles endlessly upon itself, the whole experience of being alive begins to melt into one enormous obligation. Sabbath time is a revolutionary challenge to the violence of overwork. Many of us, in our desperate drive to be successful and care for our many responsibilities, feel terrible guilt when we take time to rest.”

David believes as he states in his book (p. 69) that leaders are travelling too fast and attempting to do too much. He writes “if priorities PROTECT my purpose and passion, then PACING prolongs it. That’s the thought in Psalm 139:3 ‘You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment, you know where I am.” (TLB)

He goes on to say that “if the Lord were an officer of the law, he would give many of us a speeding ticket.” And he asks the question “is there a speed limit for life and ministry?”

Good question huh? The funny thing is that as I pondered this question and chewed on it for a few days I got an email inviting me to speak at a women’s conference with the purpose of helping women in ministry in any capacity the opportunity to guess what….”Relax, refresh, rejuvenate” and for a few days release the “to-do list”  as well as do something else we don’t take enough time to do “relate with other women who are in the same boat as we are BUSY with kingdom work.  What do you think I said? YES of course!

The conference info is here http://www.thereconference.com/ and its called the RE:Conference. Yes, God’s powerful paradoxical prefix RE. Another funny thing about all this is that this weekend (April 24-25) I head out to my college reunion and will meet up with sorority sisters where I am actually doing a ceremony on out of all things…the Power of Re! Seems like RE is big right now.

I will be there sharing on Friday afternoon on Marriage plus Ministry and I invite all my CEFL sisters locally in South Florida to definitely make it out but I know my sisters in other states could use a little time to RE and guess what? It’s not too late to REgister either? Conference cost Before May 1: $165
and Regular Registration: After May 1st: $175. The venue is the awesome Doral Resort and Spa www.doralresort.com.

I believe it in this type of a conference so much, CEFL is actually one of their partners and we’ll have a table there. So I would love a great showing of CEFL women to come out and not only support a conference that is all about helping you take the time to smell the roses but so that you individually get the rest and relaxation you need to keep doing what God has called you to do. I know I want to do better in 2010. Better health is wealth and it begins by you taking a little time to be still and know that He is God…He WILL still be God when you take a break. Trust me on that one!

This June stop the rush rush and RE. See you there!

HOWEVER, I believe that God would love status updates just like we give status updates to our Facebook friends…

“Hey God was on my mind today and I thought he’s been so good to me, Thank you Daddy God.

“Wow, God you just blew my mind with that miracle of a bonus at my job. I love you”

“I need you right now. I don’t think I can make it out of this one without your help God. I need you to protect me from my enemies and let your justice roll Lord.”

I am not saying that you have to close down your account on Facebook but I do think you need to reflect if you need to open up a line of communication with your Maker. God is way better than the creator of Facebook, He can give you way better advice than an FB friend can and He surely will be your best cheerleader. So tell me when was your last status update to God…if its been a while, he wants to know “what’s on your mind?” just like the little Facebook box does.

I know for myself 2009 was the year I DID NOT…

1. Finish my book
2. Lose 30 pds

These were the two primary goals that I went into 2009 with and well, I failed again. So I ask myself what kept me from achieivng my dream in 2009?

1. The tyranny of the urgent - as a wife, mom, Executive Pastor, nonprofit consultant, founder of a women’s organization with a new digital magazine to publish and caregiver to my special needs child there is always something to keep me from what is most important. I am going to use this week to think how I am going to change that. I have to change because obviously I am not reaching what I believe is also in my destiny–the book that I believe will help many women get a new attitude about all the lemons of their life.

2. Non-belief - perhaps what has also kept me from achieving my dream is my lack of belief in me. Many people think I have super confidence but honestly there are days after I preach or teach that I tell my husband “oh boy I think I sucked” or when I see a lack of presence from people I expect to be at an event be it my church or my women’s organization and I say “why am I doing this again?” because I feel that the absence is a sign of not caring and perhaps even non-interest. With so many great people out there in the world doing some awesome things for others, I do think what does my pebble contribute. However, for many years I have kept going in spite of that because I just think God prefers that I trust Him more than I trust my own flakly feelings.

In 2010, I am starting my year with prayer and fasting to hear from God. This year I won’t approach him with MY list but I will take a pen and paper and listen to Him and MAYBE He will give me HIS list for me!

In 2010, I am going to have to make hard decisions - saying NO to somethings I really LOVE but are not within my destiny cone. If it doesn’t fit, I’ve got’ta quit. That means if I can find a way that what I am doing is in line with what my overall God-given purpose is then I will have to give it up.

In 2010, I have to schedule book writing time in PEN and CIRCLED. No more excuses. Rachelle is going to get something from me so help me God. I have to step out of my comfort zone as she has written and make a decision to finally do what needs to be done if I want someone to actually take a look at my writing. God provided Rachelle to me purely through circumstances only He can orchestrate and I have been a lump on a log not finishing what she’s requested of me. Yeah, yeah, all legitimate excuses in my head but really not really! Nothing will be accomplished unless I get to it so this year I gotta get to it in a big way.

So what about you? What keeps you from achieving your dream and how will 2010 be different?

 Now as a new chapter begins in nine days I dare say…

Have you ever read a book that just makes you stop? Stop the madness of church activity, leading, planning, etc. The book I’ve been reading the last few days named Primal: A Quest for the Lost Soul of Christianity by Mark Batterson made me do just that. That alone is an accomplishment because not many books have that effect on me. I need books that either wow me or slap me because of the reality of what I need to be thinking/acting/doing. This book kind of did both to me. For that I give Mark a high five!

What makes this even more interesting to me was that I was featured with Mark in Rev. Magazine a few years ago as pastors who “blog” when we both kind of started out in pastoring. Since then I’ve always tracked him to see what he is up to and obviously Mark has “blown up” so to speak and has gone on to be a noted figure in the faith-based world especially in church planting. Bottomline, I was honored to be in his company even if it was only in print media!

I have also read one of his other books “In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day” so I was happy to read that he was working on Primal and after reading it I have to say I like this guy even more, I would love to meet him one day!

Now to get to the book…

1. I liked the title of the book and made me pause because I do feel that something has been lost in Christianity. Some people think it is the “spiritiual gifts”, others believe its the way “we do church” but Mark suggests in his book that its the fact that Christians have lost their way and have lost their first love. I love the way he put what our primal problem is “It goes without saying that Christianity has a perception problem. At the heart of the problem is the simple fact that Christians are more known for what we’re against that what we’re for.”

2. I liked the way it flows. Reading Primal is like having Mark over for coffee and he’s just sharing his heart and his travel adventures and how they related to his spiritual walk.

3.  It’s just the right amount of pages. With only 167 pages you could read it in a week.  Faster if you have uninterrupted time on your hands.

4. Format of book: The book is divided into four parts: 1) The Heart of Christianity; 2) The Soul of Christianity; 3) The Mind of Christianity; 4) The Strength of Christianity.

5. My reaction to some key highlights of the book:When I began reading the book I was afraid I was not going to like it. Mark takes us back to early Christianity and the catacombs (I never was a big history buff) but he then reminds us that there was a time where serving and worshipping God was not so complicated, I mean when we knuckleheaded Christians didn’t complicate things so much. Mark reminds us that for God its really as simple as this one commandment: Love God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.Mark shares (on pg 7) how 20-somethings who grew up in the church are leaving the church and how our first thought would probably be “what is wrong with this generation?” but he goes on to say that that is the wrong question, the right question is “what’s wrong with the church?” And his answer? “We’re not great at the Great Commandment. In too many instances, we’re not even good at it.” Ouch! [First slap to Liz]

• One of the key themes throughout the book was  Re.

Mark challenges us that the quest for the lost soul of Christianity involves us1.      Rediscovering “what it means to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, strength”2.      Returning “to the primal place where God loved you and you loved God”3.      Reacting right because “it’s much easier to ‘act’ like a Christian than it is to ‘react’ like one” [Second slap to Liz]

In the first part of the book, there is a chapter called “Tribe of the Transplanted” a reference to the new heart “we are supposed” to get one made of flesh versus stone when we come to KNOW God, Mark reminds us that one act of compassion can change history…not just our history, world history. He retells the story of Joseph and how his simple act of compassion while in prison got him noticed by a cupbearer who NOW knew Joseph could interpret dreams and that simple relational link connected him to the Pharaoh later on and the rest is well…history. So this part of the book challenges us to keep in mind that every little thing we do yes, whatever we view as little could have major impact to someone but that someone could know someone who knows someone that could be the anchor to YOUR destiny fulfillment.

I could go on and on about the fantastic illustrations Mark used in his book to bring a message home for us. My personal favorites were his 93 year old friend who made God his “senior partner” (p. 33) making a reference to how when we make God the first priority he blesses our efforts, the island of the colorblind (p.58) making a tie between colorblind people who live on an island with amazing color filled life and the travesty that they could not enjoy it while living there and how that could be us Christians how we can take everything we have available to us for granted or even worse, that we could be just as blind to the wonder and miracles around us all the time. [slap, slap]

I think Primal is a great book to get even before the year is up so you can reflect on how your new year is going to be different and it’s a must read to begin in 2010. Everyone needs to read this book but I especially encourage  leaders/pastors to read it because if we are honest-we are the first ones to be about Kingdom business and forget the awe of the King.  We need to go back. We need to re-mind ourselves of that PRIMAL encounter with the King of King and Lord of Lords.

This book provided for review by Random House. Buy it here. 

I remember a song we used to sing in my home church in NYC years ago, “Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart.” In this song it says, “Give thanks unto the Holy One for He’s given Jesus Christ His Son.” If we are grateful to God for what He has done for us, and given us, then everything else shouldn’t really matter. We can enjoy one another’s company and thank God for family and friends, no matter how big or small our gatherings are or the contents of a gift.

Jesus is the best gift we could ever receive or give. When we bow our heads to give thanks over a big fat turkey, a juicy ham, or a small chicken, pernil (pork for us Puerto Ricans) or when we open a gift, we need to have our hearts right with God and be grateful.

There will be so many people this year facing an empty place at their tables some may not even be able to afford a Christmas tree. We need to pray for those families and then our wants won’t be such a big concern. There are people fighting for their lives and praying for protection over in the Middle East and at home.

Every year most of us say we will have a change of heart and be more loving and giving. NOW IT’S TIME! I recently went to see a Christmas Carol in the movies and I cried. I love all that stuff. Afterward my son said to me, why did you cry? I said because I love it when people remember to be kind, get in the Spirit of Christmas and show love toward one another. He said “Yeah, but that shouldn’t be once a year!”. My son the philosopher! I wholeheartedly agree. That is what I hear the Lord say in my spirit as I pray for others near and far. It’s time to be concerned for others. We should reach out in any way we can. It isn’t that any of us want to be selfish or into ourselves, but we have to try harder so that the world sees the compassion, the mercy, and the love of God. This is how they can get the best gift from us, “Jesus.”

He can be found wrapped up in a smile, an encouraging word, or a baked apple pie (ok for some a pie picked up from Publix, A&P or Fine Fare) for your neighbor. That will do wonders for you and them. I am going to work on an attitude adjustment and be more grateful. Will you join me? The season of giving is just around the corner.

But thanks be to God, who made us his captives and leads us along in Christ’s triumphal procession. Now wherever we go he uses us to tell others about the Lord and to spread the Good News like a sweet perfume. Our lives are a fragrance presented by Christ to God (2 Corinthians 2:14, 15 NLT).